hani_backup: (Nala Simba drinking)

I don't understand where the poster is coming from. Like did the person who made her mad say he/she has Asperger's but the poster doesn't believe him/her and thinks that person is just making an excuse? That said, after the Readercon debacle, it's a change from thinking when someone does something socially unacceptable to jump on the "maybe he/she has Asperger's" thinking.

I've never been a sister wife, or a wife, obviously, but I've grown up among friends and relatives whose father had multiple wives. I've never seen it as a happy thing. That said, all of the husbands were deceitful and having an affair on the first wife before dropping the bomb and either revealing to the first wife that they want to marry this other woman and have her be his second wife or that they already married and hey, here's my second wife, first wife! So I view this postcard with a great sense of sadness... For some reason I'm completely okay with polygamous/open marriages or relationships. I suppose because from what I've seen and heard, those are usually agreed upon by both/all parties and open from the get-go or have to be for everybody's safety whereas the religious polygamy I've heard of growing up just seems full of lies and manipulations.

Other PostSecrets )

Matt doesn't care. :-)

All taken from today's PostSecrets.
hani_backup: ("hushedwee")

flight tomorrow to Vegas. I'm in a neck brace. here's hoping 24 hours is enough. (pinched nerve, apparently)

hani_backup: (Snow Leopard Hani)

“It’s you, perfected!”

“Take control of your color  by Hue/Saturation. Use this break-through formula to change hair, skin  color, brighten eyes, whiten teeth. Even adjust your race.”

Very, very well-made.

hani_backup: (moon)
Earlier this week I was talking with someone about our births.  I was musing over the fact that I felt I should have been bigger and taller than I currently am, if only because both my sisters are taller than my mom whereas I'm the shortest in the family.  I then told them about what my mom had told me: That there was something wrong with her/my placenta during her pregnancy of me so I didn't get all of the nutrients I should have had from all the food she eating.  There was a possibility also of the oxygen uptake and gas exchange (O2, CO2) not being optimal.

I knew already that my conversing partner was 10 pounds 4 ounces (10.25lbs/4.6493 kg).  That's really big for an infant!  The nurses bought their mother flowers, out of sympathy.. They were born with the umbilical cord around their neck. Thankfully they were delivered with a C-section, which made it easier to ease the umbilical off.

I was born very small though I didn't know how much I weighed at birth.  I stayed in the incubator for 26 days afterwards which doesn't seem a long time to me, but I was told it was a long time by the other person's standards. I don't know how different hospitalized neonatal care is in Malaysia and other countries.

This ignorance of my birth weight led me to text my mother and ask her.  Apparently I was 1.5 kg. In American terms, that 3.3lbs/3 pounds 4.8 ounces!  I was about a third of the other person's baby weight!  We didn't know what the ranges were for underweight, normal, and large babies were besides our vague notion that double digit pound babies are huge.  They Googled something like 3.3lbs baby and found that I was on the cusp of underweight-very/extremely underweight baby or very low birthweight for some sites

My mom texted me that  I was not a premature baby and went to full term.  I had a vague notion about that, just from my mom once telling me that I "didn't want to leave" and that one of my sisters were "eager to leave."  She also mentioned again something being wrong with the placenta. Her remark led me to Googling some terms I can't remember now but led me to intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). 

According to PubMed:

Intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) refers to the poor growth of a baby while in the mother's womb during pregnancy. Specifically, it means the developing baby weights less than 90% of other babies at the same gestational age.

More )

I don't know if the doctor gave this as a possibility to my mom.  I have no idea what was wrong with the placenta, if there was a name for it. My dad's told me my head seemed big for my body and it was all "floppy" but baby's necks are too weak to support the head, anyway.  I didn't get passive antibodies from my mother, spread through breastmilk, because I was fed on formula.  I didn't react well to something in her breastmilk, a sensitivity to something.

I don't know if I would ever have children.  Maybe?  Maybe not.  I know I can expect a small baby, if not hope for a small baby!  My mom, after giving birth to all of us, was pretty thin, judging from the photos and some of her post-pregnancy clothes I tried on.  (Like clothes from when we lived in NYC when I was 11 months old.)  She got married when she was 23 years old and I can't fit in her wedding outfit; she was that slim.  I do have a different body shape from my sisters and my mom, though.  One of my older sisters could fit in her wedding outfit, at least back in high school.  My mom was pretty athletic all through primary and secondary school. She likes to take long walks when she can.

On a funny note, my mom texted me that my older sisters were 5 and 5.5 kilos.  That's 11lbs and 12.1lbs, respectively!  That's bigger than the person I was talking with, and their mother was far taller than my mother!  I texted her back, saying that was heavy and she said, no, it's normal and I responded, no, I don't think so.  Then she replied and said that she got it wrong, they were 5 and 5.5 pounds at birth, not kilograms! Whew, what a relief!
hani_backup: (Mulan-Who is that girl I see?)

A few friends shared it and one friend commented on one of her friends' sharing of it.

Friend 1 shared it and said:

One of our friends replied:
"I think none of the ones in the top row are going to survive the next winter." (2 thumbs up)

Friend 2 shared it and said:
Personally, I think all body types are beautiful but when someone's bones are sticking out is when I grow concerned. (4 thumbs)

One of their friends replied:
Great pic- thanks for sharing!

Friend 3 replied to one of her friends sharing it with:
"When did someone else's body shape become our business?" (1 thumbs up)

For one thing, shouldn't that question end with a question mark?

I applaud the image is trying to promote, if I see it right, that current thin celebrities aren't sexy as past curvier women and carries, implicitly, the assumption that the majority of the world finds said thin figures as sexy and becoming. But I think for it to become more analogous, either both rows should have the women in bikinis or one-piece swimsuits. Social commentary, too, I suppose.

I've had a friend get looked at weirdly or ask if she was part of a conservative religion because she wore a one piece swimsuit to a beach in Italy, instead ofa two-piece. I mean, come on.

I found the comment "I think none of the ones in the top row are going to survive the next winter" kind of insulting. I don't know why precisely, though...

However, when I see images or status that claim that "Real women have curves" or something similar to that, it definitely irks me. There are women who do not have big chests or narrow waists or pronounceable hips. There are shopping and clothing brands out there trying to sell clothing they believe gives the illusions of a bust or hips or a narrow waist. I just find it irritating, now and then, when people make generalizations and say this body type sucks and is horrible and this is how women should look like. I have friends who say collarbones are frightening to see - well, my collarbones always show on me. Or sometimes my ribs do, and it's awkward at some points. When I see myself in the mirror in a changing room and a bra, I sometimes think the rib showing looks like I have a bra that's too small and the bottom of my breasts got squished and are showing. (On an aside, I find it kind of off-putting when I see pictures of females where the bikini tops do show the bottom of their breasts. Very awkward.) Invalidating people based on how they look is so invalidating.

I can find multiple body types aesthetically pleasing. I can find multiple body types physically pleasing and sexually attractive. People find whatever they find sexy. Finding what you think fits you the best is what matters.

I found Friend 3's comment interesting. I don't think, if people think the image is also implicitly blaming media for a high prevalence rate of eating disorders, that she'll say that eating disorders aren't concerning, but that that might be a generalization and people should concern themselves with themselves. That if you are concerned about someone based on that someone's body type, it's better to be concerned about that rather than the world is general? I don't know... I suppose she is fed up with paparazzi and all the comments about a female being pregnant just because omg, her stomach isn't completely flat. Or comments about cellulite and of the ilk. Give it up, people!

This is very incoherent. Sorry...
hani_backup: (Xena - white dress)
Trivially, I miss having access to a gym. Summer 2010 I worked out several times a week, with weights mostly. The following academic year there I didn't work out much at all. The previous academic years I didn't exercise at all.

I know I lack the will-power to exercise now. I haven't done any since graduating. There have been no stretches, resistance training, warm-ups. I've done about a week's worth of warm up stretches when I had intense back pain, for rehab purposes. I did one or two days of exercises with Matt. I use the excuse of not having access to a gym, not having money for a gym membership, the cold weather, the busy schedule, not having enough sleep, to not do any serious exercise.

I know some people prefer a more spontaneous and explosive work out, such as Zumba (I believe it's like dancing?) or running outside or basketball. I wouldn't mind basketball, but I like working out in a gym, by myself. With my mp3 music. It's a time to reflect and just lose myself in the music, in the muscles, in my breath. I can be alone with a book, watching something, and my mind is somewhat quiet, but it's not quite the same.

I miss the little extra strength I had a year and a hall. That summer my digestive issues weren't as bad, either, for whatever reason. I think I had more carrots and fruits, and water. That BRITA filter saved my life. I miss having abdominal muscles that show. I do miss looking how I did when we went to Disney World...

Picture )
hani_backup: (Up yours)
It is bizarre having someone measure your waist, not with a soft measuring tape, but the steel/metal measuring tape people in construction tend to use. It was also giggly worthy. Matt's mom needed my waist and hip measurements yesterday (to guesstimate someone else's measurements) and she didn't have a soft tape. The edges kind of bit in, but it was amusing. I was waiting for a chiropractic appointment yesterday.

My chest and back pain is slightly better. Tuesday I woke up in extreme pain. And insomniac... I apparently followed Matt downstairs when he was leaving work and kept talking nonsense. I don't fully remember that. I do remember finding it hard to shift around being my muscles were killing me, as well as feeling vaguely nauseous. I didn't have a headache which was quite fortunate. The entire day I stayed in bed besides going to bedroom and getting some kek batik. I finished the entire tupperware...

When Matt got back, he asked me to take a deep breath. And I cried because of the pain. Blargh. I'm used to lower back pain, it's chronic with me, but upper torso is just weird.

I'm a whiny low-spined person when it comes to health inconveniences/issues I'm not used to use. Matt's father did a chiropractic adjustment and treatment on me yesterday. It helped some though I still have twingers and pain. But at least I'm not crying when I take a deep breath or sneeze or something.

I also was given supplements and worksheets of exercises to do to strenghten my neck and back. A few of them are stretches or yoga-like things or exercise. They're not named on the worksheet, but I recognize the plank and some others. They're just described and with pictures.

Ahhh, pain.
hani_backup: (Scythe Wolf)
So I succeeded at fasting the first two days of Ramadan. Monday was surprising. I was asleep most of the day. I think part of that was still recovering from Saturday. Thankfully I didn't push myself too much. Matt had to wake me up when he got back from work and I basically stayed upstairs until the table needed to be set.

I stayed upstairs because I was so damn tempted to forage in the fridge.

Tuesday, I was not that smart or aware. I didn't check weather.com when I left Matt around 1pm, wearing jeans. I walked about 20 mins to the station, and then waited in the sun for the Metra. Then I had to walk a little more at a transfer point between the Metra station and the cta station. Then because the train was so late, it had to run express so I had to get off 3 stops before my stop because it went to express to a few stops behind mine. >_< Of course this stop wasn't shaded... By the time I got back to the apartment 2 hours later I was pooped and quickly disrobed to my undies and fell asleep. I only woke up when Matt called me, asking if I was still there, and when my alarm set for fasting rang. Yay. I found out the day had a heat advisory, too, which explains how hot I felt, but I thought I was just oversensitive because I couldn't damn drink.

Pasta and ice cream, for the win. There were fantastic thunderstorms last night. I went out on the fire escape and got soaked. I loved it. I wish I could have run through that rain with Matt. "Cavort" was the word I used.

Today is the third day of fasting. I'll drink a little each day because I have pills to take 3 times a day, but I'm taking as little as I can.
hani_backup: (Rose Dance)
I haven't touched a laptop since I packed up Friday afternoon to visit Matt and his family... The past few days have been eventful, to say the least. I got on the train a bit late on Friday (for safety's sake it's preferred that I'm on the train by 5pm). And then the bus was a little late... But I got there on time. We watched the final disc of True Blood Season 3.  What a mind-trip. And so dark, dark, dark. Then some serious discussion time with Matt and a phone call with a friend. Serious times. I think I finally crawled into bed around 4am.

Because of the late night, Matt and I didn't get up early to prepare for our trip to the beach, Ohio Street Beach which opens at 11am. We only got up around 11am, something like that, to his brother telling us breakfast was ready. Which it wasn't, completely, but we helped set the table and all that while waiting for the gravy to be done. Yummy biscuits...

Then, afterwards, we readied our stuff. Matt did most of the work, finding the beach blanket, the beach chairs, the umbrella, the Frisbee, preparing the food, etc...

The last time we took a trip to the beach, on July 4th, it went horribly. We were suppose to meet one of my former high school friends and some of her friends up in Evanston, where we didn't know where the beach was or parking situation. We got there, we walked a lot of blocks with our heavy cooler, and my phone didn't get reception. >_< I used Matt's phone but I kept getting my friend's voice mail after several rings. OH MY GOODNESS, I felt so worried and guilty and tense, because it was my friend we were going to meet and the meet-up didn't happen successfully. Turns out she had forgotten her phone back where she's staying and so she had to use one of her friend's smartphones to look up my number in a Facebook message to her. I had called Matt's brother to ask him to pick us up, then I had to call him back and cancel it after he was already a few blocks away (couldn't go further because of roadblocks). My former schoolmates and her friends were way late, too.... It was awkward, tense. The fireworks were a nice show, but it still left a bitter taste in our mouths... It was a very tense situation.

Yesterday's beach adventure was suppose to make for the crap-show the 4th of July was. It did not.

We got on the highway fine, but then the GPS started getting all weird. Ohio Street Beach is given the address of 400 N. Lake Shore Dr n the Chicago Park District official website - though it's not on Google Maps by itself - and then it directed us to the middle of the highway. We're not familiar with the area and how to get underneath or beside the highway. Parking was horrendous. We went around and around for more than an hour? We finally got a parking spot in a parking building near Navy Pier, got a taxi and asked him to take us to Oak Street Beach, but then we noticed Ohio Street Beach was on the map so he dropped us off nearby. We had to walk a bit to find it.

That was around 5:45pm. The beach closes at 7pm. We left the house around...3:30pm? And it takes about 45 minutes to get there, by GPS and traffic. The remaining time was just...going around and around. We were very frustrated and tense... But we found it, in the end.

Ohio Street Beach is much smaller than North Ave Beach. It's at the end of Pfc Milton Olive Park. It's not on Google Maps, even, Ohio Street Beach. Anyhoo, because it's smaller there are no changing facilities on the beach. I had to walk all the way to Navy Pier to change - long line for the bathroom, with only 3 stalls - and then I had to walk back to the beach wearing only my bikini with nothing to cover me... It was a little embarrassing. (The dress I wore beforehand was too tight for me to wear over my bikini.) Stupid me didn't bring my phone with me so I couldn't let Matt know I was okay since I was gone for a while...

But...yeah...we set up the blanket, the chairs, got out the food and water... I got back to the beach at 6:15pm and we spent about half an hour in the water. That was nice... The lake really accentuated the height difference between Matt and I. He walked so far away from me before only his head showed above the water. A few times he dropped me in my height water but I was so clumsy I fell over anyway. :P And inhaled water.

Ill feeling, fridge broke down )
hani_backup: (Mulan-Who is that girl I see?)

I do sometimes wonder about that...how children react knowing/finding out one of their parents had plastic surgery (for non-necessary medical reasons). From the sound of the postsecret it doesn't sound like the plastic surgery was for medical reasons (skin grafts for a burn, cleft lip, breast reduction for back pain, etc.) so I'm going to assuming it's more for cosmetic reasons. I think I'd find it hypocritical, considering my parents' beliefs and how they forbade me to wear nail polish or use henna outside of wedding things and bleaching and dyeing your hairw as definitely not allowed and seen as being ungrateful for how God made you... But if it weren't for those beliefs, I imagine I might be more self-conscious about my body and possibly harangue for plastic surgery for myself. >_<

If I was a parent and my kid wanted plastic surgery... )

Going back to the original PostSecret, yes, I think I'd feel more self-conscious about my body if I suddenly found out a parent had plastic surgery done (assuming they weren't being hypocrites) and wonder if that parent judges me on my appearance. (The comments my parents usually make about my appearance is my hair is too wet to go outside in public, brush my hair, or I should eat more cause I'm too thin.) I think my mom and dad look fine the way they are. I rarely think about their appearance, unless they ask me too or someone asks me what they look like. I generally think people look okay the way they do and if I found out something I thought was nice about them or just naturally part of them was fake... Yeah, weird. And I'd get suspicious of my judgement from then on, about what is natural and what isn't...
hani_backup: ("summer")
this was taken a few weeks ago in June. This is the edited version.

I don't like having revealing photos taken of when I'm bloated, cramped or nauseous due to my digestive issues. As such a lot more of my abdominal revealing photos have been during my "good" days or lucky timing, rather than when bad days occur, or I rarely show the not-as-flat-as-I-could-be photos to people.

It always makes me hate shopping for jeans or skirts. I have different jeans for my constipated days and for my non-constipated days.


But I do love shopping for tops more, despite my breasts sometimes making that difficult. I find tops with much more variety and fun-ness.
hani_backup: ("gone")
Thursday: Day 4 (1/3b) 5mg

Friday: Day 5 (2/3b) 5mg

What happened Thursday? I don't remember... No, I was able to go to class. I had three alarms set on my phone, with different snooze times. I was able to talk in the first class, in the small group and make conversation with someone on the way to our next class. But otherwise it takes so much energiz to talk, even during the thesis meeting, and it takes so much I feel like I'm in a stupor when I'm not forced to make a conversation.

Frida was ok. Managed to make both classes and the appt during the break. Still felt brain fuzzy during everything.

Tues and Thurs I have Psych Disorders. We finished substance disorders and started eating disorders tues, finished eating disorders and started cognitive disorders Thursday. It's interesting hearing some of the professors' stories or opinions/his tactics when he practiced as a clinical psychologist.

One thing he was pretty firm on, he termed it tough love. With both substance/alcohol abuse and eating disorders he said it's imperative to get them off the drugs or get a stable eating routine established before psychological therapy addressing the underlying issues can be addressed. He said he's experience a lot of alcohol addicted patients he's treated try to justify and do lie about their drinking routine. A ditty he quoted was:

Poor me,
Poor me,
Pour me a drink.
To illustrate how people can not take responsibility for changing their behavior and even if they acknowledge they may have a problem, they don't see their behavior as something that must change.

I can only remember that from my notes. I don't know if the fuzzy mind is medication caused. I don't have self-esteem dialogue going in my mind but I don't seem to card about anything right now, and it's easier to pretend online or force myself for less than an hour. But if the medication is responsible for pushing my appetite up a little, I'm glad. Commons had Meatball Monday with normal meatballs, bbq
meatballs, turkey, chicken, tofurkey... Other nights there were DELICIOUS meat dishes like lemon chicken or bbq chicken or cod.

Usually I consider dinner a social meal, to catch up with friends since we've no classes together. But if geom't have friends around, I don't feel like eating. Ramen in my room is fine. But today I was hungry enough I was willing to go eat by myself. It's weird cause back home during the summer or high school I preferred eating alone and hated being pressured to weekend lunches and dinners with my parents. Though that could've been cause my dad doesn't let reading at the table. :-P It'd be nice when I see my psychiatrist next week to have gained some weight, since I mentioned my goal to gain some weight.

Dry month, damn it. And I can feel the drowsiness creeping up.

I'm typing from my phone in the lounge room. Say Yes to the Dress... I'm hungry for Chinese food but it's expensive to order in solo.$15 minimum to deliver. :'(

Matt is supposed to visit this weekend but is unable to. Poor laddie. I'm wearing his shirt today, the sentimental sap I am. ♥

Cannot think straight.
hani_backup: (Mulan - for the win!)
Well, one good number, but "some good numbers" rolls of the tongue/fingertips more lyrically than "I got a good number today!"

What number is this, you ask?

Mulan - for the win! )
On a side note, I watched several girls use the barbell and bench press it.  With added weights.  I couldn't lift the darn thing Saturday afternoon when I subbed a shift in the weight room and had to clear/put away stuff laid about!  I had to drag it across the rubber floor.  I was so in awe of them.  My mouth didn't drop open, but I kept watching them from where I was doing my exercises.  *creepy Izzy...*  I'm so envious of them! 


Aug. 16th, 2010 01:01 am
hani_backup: (Kushiel Icon)
This was so long ago, I don't think I can remember all the sets and reps properly

August 8, 2010, Sunday
Ran/walked/jogged outside (where I broke out into hikes...) for about 30 minutes, 1.4 miles I think?

Mess of a log )
hani_backup: (Rose Dance)
Monday: The work out did not go well, yah )

I don't understand what exactly happened. I was drinking, eating, I didn't even do my work out as intensively as it could have been before I felt really bad and out of whack. I always start my work out with a one-mile run, and the pace I was going at wasn't very fast or intense. But somehow my body just went into alarm-mode, and it was distressing because it threw my schedule and day off.

Wednesday: I was suppose to work out then (do the every-other-day thing), but after the shit that went down Tuesday I just hunkered in the apartment yesterday and hid from the world, except for online people and on the phone.

Thursday: Yeah! I took the one-mile slowly at first, but when my body didn't go into crash mode within the first half-mile, I continued. I got a new one-mile best! 8 minutes and 3 seconds!

At the end of the strength training (I decided not to do the leg press because the machine's noises would have irritated me, despite my music), I decided to try out the treadmill for the first time ever. I almost slipped and fell. It's hard to find your rhythm on it... But I ended up walking on it for 49mins53secs, usually between 2.0-4.0 miles/hour and just lost in my music and thoughts.

August 5, 2010, Thursday
Exercise log )

For two hours I was in there, it was interesting seeing people come and go and the different areas they concentrated on. I also took the exercises slow and more breaks between sets as a precaution (from Monday's experience), I also spent more time looking around at equipment. I noticed the free weights ranged from 3lbs to 105lbs or 115lbs. At the least, they were in three digits! A single free weight! I haven't seen anybody use those, and I haven't met a person yet who I think could use those easily... A few guys I've seen in the gym use 25lbs or 40lbs free weights, but I think that's the highest. (Of course this doesn't count what they bench press or the total on the barbell.)

I'm glad I chose to concentrate on strength training with some cardio. Endurance isn't my priority right now. I think the 50-60 minutes walking round trip between the apartment and the public library suffices as my cardio exercise. I think I would collapse if I tried running outside, besides breaking out into hives from my allergies. I admire those who train for marathons, or run as their main exercise, and they do it for more than one mile. :P As for my goal of strength and toning, after two weeks of not visiting the gym I've lost some muscle in my upper body. The 8lbs weights were a tougher today than they were 2 weeks ago, and the torso rotation exercises were a strain to complete (I even did less than my last routine's set and reps.) I may or may not try to squeeze in a work out Saturday before I leave.
hani_backup: (Death - Not peachy)
I worked out after the Germany-Spain semifinal game. Had to get my frustrations out. I forgot my water bottle back home, and the vending machine in the Student Center ate my dollar bill when I tried to get water. It gave me back a quarter, which is the correct change. However, it didn't give me the water bottle! I was so pissed off. Thankfully the vending machine in the Sports Center worked though a bottle of water there costs $1.00. ARGH. Wasting money, stupid machine in Pearson's. Well, it's originally my fault. If I hadn't forgotten my water bottle, I wouldn't have needed to buy another bottle. :-( Bad forgetful Izzy...

When I went to the College Health Center yesterday I got weighed by a nurse before my therapist appointment. It irked me how different the two scales in the gym were, so I asked her to do that. I was right in thinking I gained back all the lost weight during the school year and some. Right now I don't care about my weight if it'll mean I can take pride in my body as a part of me I've worked hard at maintaining and keeping healthy instead of somewhat abusing it as I have in the past with lacking nutritional meals and physical laziness. (I think I'll still be sleeping in, though...)

If I jump back on a consistent every-other-day-ish gym schedule again (the last time was Thursday, though Matt visited last weekend), I can hopefully move to heavier. I tried doing 1x10 of bicep curls with the 8lbs weights, and ohmygod, that was so difficult. I'm going to stick to my 5lbs free weights, though I added small weight increases to some of the machine exercises I did. I also did the machines before my free weights instead of the usual way because there were several people already in front of the free weights bar. Too crowded and I'd hate to be accidentally hit by someone doing a side raise with a 30lbs weight!

I know people probably aren't interested in this, or will read the log all the way through. I still like posting it online in case I can't access my Word document keeping track, and need to refresh my memory on what weights and repetitions I'm doing. Today it made me feel good to see I'm not the only one in the gym with a sheet of paper/a notebook of exercises to do and checking them out. Two other people had them, and another girl had flashcards of yoga/stretching exercises to do.

I went back to doing a mile before my strength workout because I haven't gone to the public library in a long time. The walk to the public library takes me about an hour, and it's 2.8 miles to and fro. I just did my usual elliptical run. I think I'd go crazy if I walked on a treadmill for half an hour with no goal in end.

Routine )
hani_backup: (Scythe Wolf)
Yesterday I woke up, took my antibiotics, talked to Bridgett briefly on MSN, ate my cereal, then walked to campus to watch the Japan-Denmark game. YES, Japan kicked butt so much. They're going to the next round! I then took the bus to the public library because it was so damn hot, and texted Mandy to ask if she would like to go to the gym later.

Unfortunately I missed the bus at 5:14pm so I had to walk back to campus with my laptop, powercord and assorted other things in my backpack. In the sweltering 28Celsius still heat. Blargh. I was already pretty tired when I met Mandy, but it is true that it's harder to beg off working out when you've got a buddy with you. She went to the pool/sauna whereas I tromped to the gym.

Exercise, yay! )

By the time I got home, I was really hungry. I figured "Why not try making steak for the first time? I love steak. Steak is yummy. Steak is meat. Steak is full of protein and by God, I need yummy, protein-filled meat right now." I looked up instructions on using the broiler/making steak, and I called Matt for good measure.

I fail at steak cooking )

It is disturbing feeling queasy yet still hungry. :S I managed to go to sleep around 4am, and woke up today around 11am. I'm feeling a bit better, though being in air-conditioned buildings and then walking out in the heat is disturbing me up. Grrr. I forgot my hoodie, too.
hani_backup: (Kushiel (protect & service))
I've started taking my antibiotics and the side effects have made going to class uncomfortable. Also, trying to figure out a good time for taking this antibiotic twice a day, 2 hrs before and after meals/dairy products and "NOT BEFORE BEDTIME" is a lot harder than I thought. Especially with dance rehearsals/classes + side effects to consider.

Today I read [livejournal.com profile] shadesong's entry and followed her link to [livejournal.com profile] bookshop's entry "Bad Romance (or, YA & Rape Culture). I had Hush, Hush on my to-read list because the cover was beautiful and the synopsis on Goodreads.com didn't seem that bad, but reading that entry made me want to kick the book across a muddy field. (I still can't say I want to burn it. I don't know if I've yet reach a point of horror and hatred that I would say I want to burn a book.) That books sound like all the bad, anti-feminist parts of Twilight gone hay-wire. As one commentor said (I think), Twilight idealizes stalking = love, whereas Nora, the main female character in Hush, Hush knows that Patch's stalking is wrong and makes her uncomfortable. Apparently she tries repeatedly to get the bio teacher to change their seating arrangement, but he won't do it, scoffing at her statements she feels uncomfortable (I want to kill him), and she tells Patch, too, but he still pursues her. To the point that somewhere expelicitly in the book she wonders if he's going to rape her. WTF? This has a happy ending, apparently. They fall in love or whatever. Why is this a best seller about teenage love instead of a best-seller about "WHAT LOVE ISN'T" or "WHAT LOVE SHOULDN'T BE"???

But yes, I extremely dislike books where stalking and ignoring someone's request to back off is okay, it's romantic, it's tough-guy. The sought-after person will soon realize you're soulmates and meant for each other. I hate it more when it seems to "work" and the girl (usually it's the girl) falls for the guy in the end. I also hate it when movies have that kind of plotline. I don't care if it's a "cool, suave" guy going after a "bookish" girl, or a "socially awkward boy" going after a "really popular and hot girl" or gender roles reversed with the girl hunting the guy (though I can't really recall that many off the top of my head. I know "John Tucker Must Die" was more about revenge against a guy who played them all...). It doesn't matter if I'm suppose to root for the socially awkward person to win the popular person and show them that "hey, you're really shallow for thinking I'm not worth your time because I'm lower on the social status ladder than you. I'm a person, too, and I'm deep and quirky and treat you better than the shallow significant others [of the same social strata] you've been with." No... If someone tells you they are not interested in you, or shows it very, very obviously, or does not put forth any effort in talking to you, (rather than you cornering them and making them awkwardly talk back to you because you won't freaking let them be quiet), you should respect that. You should not make things awkward and embarrassing for the both of you for continually pursuing said person and coming up with antics that enroach on their personal space and discomfort them. What happened to respect? Over the years those movies have really started to bug me. Romance =/= wearing down someone's resistance and having them capitulate to date you, even if you do have some good qualities.

[livejournal.com profile] bookshop's entry leads to another blog, Fugitivis's "Another post about rape." To basically copy the same sections [livejournal.com profile] bookshop thought relevant:

Cut - social rules females are taught to follow )

She then talks about a scenario of being on a bus and having a guy giving you the eye and two various ways you could react to it - breaking the rules or obeying the rules. This really freaked me out because I remember the one time I was really uncomfortable on a bus to the public library because two guys kept talking at me (Event 3 on the day).

From that day, I wrote:

Cut for longness )

A friend and I were talking about our scary run-ins yesterday. Next week is the start of Sexual Assault Awareness Week here, and there are self-defense classes being offered. I don't know if I can go, because of the time committments and projects I have already going on. But I had mentioned it to her and she commented that self-and-physical awareness was probably the biggest help in stranger run-ins (the kind we've had so far, as far as I know, at least). As for bad, inappropriate encounters with people we actually know and hang out with...I have no idea...
hani_backup: (Fox2)
I swear...only Wisconsin... :P

I had to giggle, though, while reading it and looking at the picture!

In other news, I'm really annoyed and my eyes keep going out of focus on me. I hope it doesn't mean I need stronger glasses... :( I can't spend money!
hani_backup: ("Thought made flesh")
From MSNBC Health (via AP)
Scientists create human sperm from stem cells
Technique could help infertile men, but other experts doubt research data

Interesting claim. And possible ramifications.

Sorry if I'm deluging your friendlist with articles lately. My life has been very...blah lately. Got the final 2 vaccines needed (Typhoid and H1N1 - I was wrong on Monday about the other Hep shot being done), they hurt so much, did a bank errand, napped, dinner with one of my dad's friends from primary and secondary school and his family at a good seafood restaurant, vomited involuntarily in the restroom (cause I ate too much of the too rich food) and so arms are sore, period still cramping me up and feeling queasy = Izzy being drained.


Also, I got some unfortunate family news so blah. Blah.


hani_backup: (Default)

September 2012

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