Writer's Block: The second time around
May. 21st, 2010 04:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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This question is very ambiguous. I fall in love with my boyfriend repeatedly. The love is steady, it's there, calm and reassuring like a nice warm sunny day, but sometimes there are those...breathless "oh, wow" moments. Those times when I blink and I'm speechless and...yeah, I literally go "oh, wow" and sometimes I actually tell him "I just fell in love with you again." At least I'm pretty sure I have. (I have a lot of imaginary conversations so telling them apart from real ones is difficult, at times.) Ah, yes, like waves of love, or, to continue with my sunny day metaphor, like a really strong breeze that makes you even more glad you're outside and draws your attention outside from where it was (usually a book for me, or my inner thoughts) and makes you realize how damn beautiful it is outside and how lucky you are you're basking some place warm and safe without war or famine going around you.
(Wow, I cannot write romantic thoughts without bringing in downers.)
So, in that interpretation I bloody hell think it's possible to fall in love with the same person twice in a lifetime. Or darnit, more than twice.
I also think there's a difference between being "in love" with someone and "loving" them. The distinct is mostly romantic vs. platonic, in my mind. I love Kyle, my best friend and a former boyfriend, a lot but I'm not in love with him. I love some very close female friends, but I'm not in love with them. I consider Matt a friend, so I love him, and I consider him my lover, so I'm in love with him, too.
It seems, however, that this question is asking about people you were in a relationship with, then had a concrete break up, and now wondering if you could fall in love with them again.
I'm of the belief that people can change so it's possible that, yeah, you and some guy/girl could meet up by chance in 7 or so years time, get to talking and realize that, hey, the reasons why we broke up the first time are no longer big issues and we can try again in a romantic relationship. I also believe that some time totally apart is necessary for fate and these people to change themselves and see if they happen to find a click again somewhere down the line. I think it'd be more successful if people didn't plan to find each other again and have some kind of timeline or deadline. That seems forced to me. I'm romantic enough to believe the bumping-into-each-other event should be random and a surprise. Or, I suppose, one person could reach out to the other after a few years have passed and see how they're doing. Of course, there are stories where one person finds their old girlfriend/boyfriend and realizes they're still in love with them but then the old significant other is with someone else... Unrequited love... I guess in those cases, they had one shot.
I've had a very immature and condensed version of "try try again" -- first relationship, it was a learning experience looking back though it took a few years to sink in. Unlike some people I've been in relationships with or friends, when a relationship ends that I want to end, I don't have any remaining "in love" feelings for them. It just ends and I don't know how to explain it to my friends who don't feel that way, just as they can't explain to me how they continually love after a relationship ends (in what I think is a somewhat 'in love' feeling) in ways I feel and understand it, instead of intellectually understanding. I don't see a rekindling of past romances in my future, just based on my own experiences. But, well, I did say I believe it should be out-of-the-blue (or better if it was). I don't want to see myself in that situation because that'd mean Matt and I aren't together anymore...
Wow, I am so not coherent today.
This question is very ambiguous. I fall in love with my boyfriend repeatedly. The love is steady, it's there, calm and reassuring like a nice warm sunny day, but sometimes there are those...breathless "oh, wow" moments. Those times when I blink and I'm speechless and...yeah, I literally go "oh, wow" and sometimes I actually tell him "I just fell in love with you again." At least I'm pretty sure I have. (I have a lot of imaginary conversations so telling them apart from real ones is difficult, at times.) Ah, yes, like waves of love, or, to continue with my sunny day metaphor, like a really strong breeze that makes you even more glad you're outside and draws your attention outside from where it was (usually a book for me, or my inner thoughts) and makes you realize how damn beautiful it is outside and how lucky you are you're basking some place warm and safe without war or famine going around you.
(Wow, I cannot write romantic thoughts without bringing in downers.)
So, in that interpretation I bloody hell think it's possible to fall in love with the same person twice in a lifetime. Or darnit, more than twice.
I also think there's a difference between being "in love" with someone and "loving" them. The distinct is mostly romantic vs. platonic, in my mind. I love Kyle, my best friend and a former boyfriend, a lot but I'm not in love with him. I love some very close female friends, but I'm not in love with them. I consider Matt a friend, so I love him, and I consider him my lover, so I'm in love with him, too.
It seems, however, that this question is asking about people you were in a relationship with, then had a concrete break up, and now wondering if you could fall in love with them again.
I'm of the belief that people can change so it's possible that, yeah, you and some guy/girl could meet up by chance in 7 or so years time, get to talking and realize that, hey, the reasons why we broke up the first time are no longer big issues and we can try again in a romantic relationship. I also believe that some time totally apart is necessary for fate and these people to change themselves and see if they happen to find a click again somewhere down the line. I think it'd be more successful if people didn't plan to find each other again and have some kind of timeline or deadline. That seems forced to me. I'm romantic enough to believe the bumping-into-each-other event should be random and a surprise. Or, I suppose, one person could reach out to the other after a few years have passed and see how they're doing. Of course, there are stories where one person finds their old girlfriend/boyfriend and realizes they're still in love with them but then the old significant other is with someone else... Unrequited love... I guess in those cases, they had one shot.
I've had a very immature and condensed version of "try try again" -- first relationship, it was a learning experience looking back though it took a few years to sink in. Unlike some people I've been in relationships with or friends, when a relationship ends that I want to end, I don't have any remaining "in love" feelings for them. It just ends and I don't know how to explain it to my friends who don't feel that way, just as they can't explain to me how they continually love after a relationship ends (in what I think is a somewhat 'in love' feeling) in ways I feel and understand it, instead of intellectually understanding. I don't see a rekindling of past romances in my future, just based on my own experiences. But, well, I did say I believe it should be out-of-the-blue (or better if it was). I don't want to see myself in that situation because that'd mean Matt and I aren't together anymore...
Wow, I am so not coherent today.
