It's fascinating to me how much each of these clusters reminds me of my ex. For a long time I hated myself because I was convinced that I was the reason why our relationship fell apart. The more distance I have though the more I realize that I'm not the one to blame at all. Sometimes we just get involved with people who have serious personal issues but, being good people, we choose to only see the good in them. Life isn't that simple. There's good mixed with the bad and the trick is recognizing when the bad outweighs the good (or vice versa). It's a hard thing to do, but a necessary skill to learn if we are ever to be happy with our lives.
I'm more happy now than I ever was while I was dating Morgan. Her dumping me was in the end the best thing that's happened in my life because it forced me to reevaluate everything about myself. That breakup was a crucible that burned away all the excess and left me with the parts of myself that are truly valuable. Reading these past few entries of yours has only made it clearer just how messed up that poor girl is and how unjust it was for me to blame myself. I truly hope (and I think your entries prove) that your experience with Nathaniel brought you ultimately to a much better and happier place in your life. Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain and anguish to make us better people.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-05-16 03:16 am (UTC)I'm more happy now than I ever was while I was dating Morgan. Her dumping me was in the end the best thing that's happened in my life because it forced me to reevaluate everything about myself. That breakup was a crucible that burned away all the excess and left me with the parts of myself that are truly valuable. Reading these past few entries of yours has only made it clearer just how messed up that poor girl is and how unjust it was for me to blame myself. I truly hope (and I think your entries prove) that your experience with Nathaniel brought you ultimately to a much better and happier place in your life. Sometimes it takes a great deal of pain and anguish to make us better people.
-Scott