![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thomas: I am curious? Did you participate in slutwalk? You don't seem like a slut. :)
I was readying your facebook update
it loked like you've been having a good time with people.
me: I don't seem like a slut? How do you define a slut?
I wrote a note about Slutwalk Chicago
21:29 Maybe you should read it, first?
Thomas: I only saw that you had met up with someone after
I guess I will have to go read it.
Give me a sec.
| 9 minutes |
21:39 Thomas: Ah, now I understand
I agree. sexual assault is never anyone's fault except the assaulters
21:40 me: Da.
21:41 Thomas: it seems weird that anyone would think differently
me: It does.
21:42 Thomas: do you think people wear unnecessarily tempting clothing though?
Thanks... Nice to know I "don't seem like a slut."
me: How is it unnecessarily tempting?
21:43 Thomas: well, when one reveals the most sexual part of themselves they will autmatically set off a biological response in a man.
Obviously the man has to choose what to do about it.
but why would the woman want to pester the man with that to begin with.
21:45 me: "why would the woman want to pester the man with that to begin with"? It's perfectly possible that was never her intention .And I don't understand what you mean by "reveals the most sexual part of themselves" What is this "most sexual part of themselves"?
21:46 Thomas: well... either the breasts or the vaginal area
bikinis
that sort of stuff
21:47 me: Bikinis?
What about men's bare chests?
Thomas: I don't think that's cool either
fyi
If you want to read the rest of it here, cool. He does question this rationally. I don't know if he got heated up on his own end, and that he had better control over how he phrased words and and stuff than me.
I was upset from the first comment of his of me not seeming like a slut, and then, and then, him asking abut females wearing "unnecessarily tempting" clothes. I know, I know he agrees and states several times that it is the man's fault for assaulting the female and not hte victim's fault -- it seems we're generalizing about males assaulting females, at least until the end -- but that whole "temptation" thing just...reeks, still, implicitly of blaming the female. And it reminds me of how I was raised. How I had to watch what I wore in case I tempted men, in case I made them think thoughts.
I'd agree there are times where people can be blamed for the type of thoughts they cause others to think -- primarily emotional abuse comes to mind -- and a few times my answers were simplistic but still, just...to think that, say that, ask that...
( Rest of the chat )
And yeah, probably there are statistically more male rapists/sxual assauterls than female ones, but I got confused near the end if we were talking adult-adult or also cindluing children. I know i didn't end hte chat on arational note but...gah. I know it's likely others will read the chat and think I'm really overreacting and that he brings up good points or that he didn't raise his opniionions like an asshole douche and my feelings are blinding me to that. To be fair, he is a little on the conservative side, which is no surpsrised this reminded me of my aprents and how I was raised.
But I sitll feel even if a man's thoughts suddenly veer towards sexually thinking about a woman and that was her intent (because a lot of the times a woman wearing a sundress with a little cleavage doesn't want men to think of her that way or it doesn't even enter her mind but she just want st o dress lightly in the weather), why should that matter?
