hani_backup: (Nala Simba drinking)


I don't understand where the poster is coming from. Like did the person who made her mad say he/she has Asperger's but the poster doesn't believe him/her and thinks that person is just making an excuse? That said, after the Readercon debacle, it's a change from thinking when someone does something socially unacceptable to jump on the "maybe he/she has Asperger's" thinking.



I've never been a sister wife, or a wife, obviously, but I've grown up among friends and relatives whose father had multiple wives. I've never seen it as a happy thing. That said, all of the husbands were deceitful and having an affair on the first wife before dropping the bomb and either revealing to the first wife that they want to marry this other woman and have her be his second wife or that they already married and hey, here's my second wife, first wife! So I view this postcard with a great sense of sadness... For some reason I'm completely okay with polygamous/open marriages or relationships. I suppose because from what I've seen and heard, those are usually agreed upon by both/all parties and open from the get-go or have to be for everybody's safety whereas the religious polygamy I've heard of growing up just seems full of lies and manipulations.

Other PostSecrets )



Matt doesn't care. :-)

All taken from today's PostSecrets.
hani_backup: (Snow Leopard Hani)


“It’s you, perfected!”

“Take control of your color  by Hue/Saturation. Use this break-through formula to change hair, skin  color, brighten eyes, whiten teeth. Even adjust your race.”

Very, very well-made.


hani_backup: (Mulan-Who is that girl I see?)


A few friends shared it and one friend commented on one of her friends' sharing of it.

Friend 1 shared it and said:
Honestly...

One of our friends replied:
"I think none of the ones in the top row are going to survive the next winter." (2 thumbs up)


Friend 2 shared it and said:
Personally, I think all body types are beautiful but when someone's bones are sticking out is when I grow concerned. (4 thumbs)

One of their friends replied:
Great pic- thanks for sharing!


Friend 3 replied to one of her friends sharing it with:
"When did someone else's body shape become our business?" (1 thumbs up)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For one thing, shouldn't that question end with a question mark?

I applaud the image is trying to promote, if I see it right, that current thin celebrities aren't sexy as past curvier women and carries, implicitly, the assumption that the majority of the world finds said thin figures as sexy and becoming. But I think for it to become more analogous, either both rows should have the women in bikinis or one-piece swimsuits. Social commentary, too, I suppose.

I've had a friend get looked at weirdly or ask if she was part of a conservative religion because she wore a one piece swimsuit to a beach in Italy, instead ofa two-piece. I mean, come on.

I found the comment "I think none of the ones in the top row are going to survive the next winter" kind of insulting. I don't know why precisely, though...

However, when I see images or status that claim that "Real women have curves" or something similar to that, it definitely irks me. There are women who do not have big chests or narrow waists or pronounceable hips. There are shopping and clothing brands out there trying to sell clothing they believe gives the illusions of a bust or hips or a narrow waist. I just find it irritating, now and then, when people make generalizations and say this body type sucks and is horrible and this is how women should look like. I have friends who say collarbones are frightening to see - well, my collarbones always show on me. Or sometimes my ribs do, and it's awkward at some points. When I see myself in the mirror in a changing room and a bra, I sometimes think the rib showing looks like I have a bra that's too small and the bottom of my breasts got squished and are showing. (On an aside, I find it kind of off-putting when I see pictures of females where the bikini tops do show the bottom of their breasts. Very awkward.) Invalidating people based on how they look is so invalidating.

I can find multiple body types aesthetically pleasing. I can find multiple body types physically pleasing and sexually attractive. People find whatever they find sexy. Finding what you think fits you the best is what matters.

I found Friend 3's comment interesting. I don't think, if people think the image is also implicitly blaming media for a high prevalence rate of eating disorders, that she'll say that eating disorders aren't concerning, but that that might be a generalization and people should concern themselves with themselves. That if you are concerned about someone based on that someone's body type, it's better to be concerned about that rather than the world is general? I don't know... I suppose she is fed up with paparazzi and all the comments about a female being pregnant just because omg, her stomach isn't completely flat. Or comments about cellulite and of the ilk. Give it up, people!

This is very incoherent. Sorry...
hani_backup: (Books first)
[Error: unknown template qotd]In not particular order of importance or priority but just done chronologically for simplicity's sake,

1) The Giver by Lois Lowry. I had moved in the middle of 4th grade to another school, another country and my home room teacher read to us every week. Two other books she read was Hatchet by Gary Paulsen which I didn't particularly enjoy and So Far From the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins  which I also adored. The Giver stuck in my mind because it was the first dystopian book I knew of and the writing was so simple but it raised all these questions about ways of living, conformity, pain, love, humanity, whether or not breaking the rules for the "greater good" (or so) was worth it, interacting with other people, independence. Every time a teacher hands out a survey asking for our favorite book, I write down The Giver, even in college. I do think almost everybody would find something in there that resonates with them, even if they are totally for conformity or live in a strict culture/community. I wasn't a big fan of the two sequels, but they did complete the story.

2) The first six books of Piers Anthony's eight-book Incarnations of Immortality series. In this series there are various offices of life and normal people are invited to take the office. On a Pale Horse is about Death, Bearing an Hourglass Time, With a Tangled Skein the three Aspects of Fate, Wielding a Red Sword about War, Being a Green Mother about Mother Nature, and For the Love of Evil about the office of Satan (book 7 about the office of God). The stories are intertwined, all the main characters affect or touch upon the world and work of the other Aspects by love or family. It's not confusing, though, if read in a series. It's set in a world where magic and science co-exist.

The reason I loved the first five books was because it really opened my mind to possible society and interactions between people. But grown-up interactions, which The Giver doesn't cover. While at the time - I was 13-15 years old - I wasn't experienced with relationships and physical intimacy, it gave me something to think. Also, thinking of Death, Nature, Fate, Time, War and Satan as mutable offices was fascinating, since I was raised in an organized religion household. I suppose my parents wouldn't be happy knowing that, yes, books were a factor in my growing doubts about the religion they raised me.

3) Mmmmm... I would have to say the series The Mage Storms by Mercedes Lackey. They definitely weren't the first books by Lackey I read but they reinforced the idea that competing, conflicting and multiple religions can co-exist on one world/one plane of reality without too much bloodshed. Also that old feuding nations can work together. Storm Warning, Storm Rising and Storm Breaking center on very powerful magical storms disrupting and changing magic and the physical world, as a consequence of magical devices used centuries ago. Ambassadors and envoys from different nations and rivals with different religious beliefs come together to face the storms and try to find a way to divert them or protect settlements. There's also the factor of an army in Hardorn, the neighboring country to Valdemar (with their Companions) and possibly threatening Valdemar. Also, old enemies rear their heads up.

I'm not very good at describing the plot.... At that time I believed in tolerance for religion but it was hard to feel it because of my family so it was nice to see it played out in series and in a way that made freaking sense. I still don't believe in a religion but I hope there aren't multiple supernatural beings who truly believe we should kill others for their beliefs and non-belief in them...

Well, duh

Jul. 31st, 2011 07:40 pm
hani_backup: ("hushedwee")
there is such a thing as an "Christian extremist" or a "Christian terrorist" if you want to use his religious beliefs as the one defining mark. Extremists or terrorists are possible in almost every single demographic possible! (I'm excluding infants.)

JEEZ.

"Christian terrorist? Norway case strikes debate"
hani_backup: (Xena -- Gabby writing)
So survey time

Asks birthdays, relationships, friends, drinking, memories, stuff like that.

Cause it's loong )

A- Age of your first kiss: 14 and a half
B- Band you are listening to right now: Watching Psych on Netflix, not listening to music...
C- Crush: My current boyfriend! :P But I don't have a crush on him now; I'm in love with him.
D- Drink you had last: Chilled water!
E- Easiest person to talk to: Matt or Beth or Hana F, on the phone
F- Favorite ice cream: Oooh, cookies 'n' cream or Safeway Select Brownie with Moose Tracks (new favorite)
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Bears for sure!
H- Height: 5'1"
I- Instruments: In 5th, 6th and 8th-10th grades I played the euphonium
J- Junk food: All of them. :P Fruit Roll Up, Fruit Gushers, Cookies 'n' Cream Chewy bars, Cheese Doritoes
K- Kids: I don't know if I wanna have kids....
L- Longest car/bus ride: Car ride - summer 2007, from Budapest to Bucharest
M- Mom's name: Yeah, not going to say...
N- Nicknames: Izzy, Chipmunk, Midget
O- One wish: To find a job so I can stay in the US
P- Phobia: Roaches, creepy crawly things
Q- Quote: "Not everything is wrong. Even a broken clock is right two times a day."
R- Reasons to smile: Hanging out with friends, heat, music, being outside in good weather
S- Shoe size: 5, 5 1/2
T- Time you woke up today: I haven't slept yet but I got out of bed around 11am Monday morning
U- Unknown fact about me: I used to cut my Barbie's hair thinking it'd regrow
V- Vegetables: My favorites are carrots and spinach. I hate brussel sprouts.
W- Worst Habit: Procrastination.
X- X-rays you've had: Both ankles, chest (for TB)
Y - Years since you've been to church/synogogue: My family is Muslim. But I did visit a church for a class assignment in 2007...
Z- Zodiac sign: Gemini!!!!
hani_backup: (Mulan-Who is that girl I see?)


I do sometimes wonder about that...how children react knowing/finding out one of their parents had plastic surgery (for non-necessary medical reasons). From the sound of the postsecret it doesn't sound like the plastic surgery was for medical reasons (skin grafts for a burn, cleft lip, breast reduction for back pain, etc.) so I'm going to assuming it's more for cosmetic reasons. I think I'd find it hypocritical, considering my parents' beliefs and how they forbade me to wear nail polish or use henna outside of wedding things and bleaching and dyeing your hairw as definitely not allowed and seen as being ungrateful for how God made you... But if it weren't for those beliefs, I imagine I might be more self-conscious about my body and possibly harangue for plastic surgery for myself. >_<

If I was a parent and my kid wanted plastic surgery... )

Going back to the original PostSecret, yes, I think I'd feel more self-conscious about my body if I suddenly found out a parent had plastic surgery done (assuming they weren't being hypocrites) and wonder if that parent judges me on my appearance. (The comments my parents usually make about my appearance is my hair is too wet to go outside in public, brush my hair, or I should eat more cause I'm too thin.) I think my mom and dad look fine the way they are. I rarely think about their appearance, unless they ask me too or someone asks me what they look like. I generally think people look okay the way they do and if I found out something I thought was nice about them or just naturally part of them was fake... Yeah, weird. And I'd get suspicious of my judgement from then on, about what is natural and what isn't...
hani_backup: (Default)
I was browsing other people's blogs and one of them linked to The Pervocracy's "The People You Meet When You Write About Rape."

It was written October 28, 2010 but I think this list is timeless. It's not exhaustive. I've definitely met some people who fit these categories. ("Unnecessarily tempting" seems to fall under "I'm Not Blaming Her But It's Her Fault" and "Traditional Values.") I think the genders don't matter.

List )
I haven't read all the comments, but it was the usual mix.
hani_backup: (Excuse me?)
*could be triggering*

This was a comment Constable Michael Sanguinetti made during a York University safety forum at Osgoode in Canada way back in January. He has since apologized for the comment. But what he said... It's stupid and insluting and, obviously, victim-blaming.

The comment triggered Toronto's SlutWalk to emerge. While sparked off by one police officer's insensitivie, moronic, stupid, insulting comment, victim-blaming has a much, much longer history.

It's frustrating. It's annoying. It's not a march where women (or men) are all suppose to dress provocatively in low-cut tops and hot pants. Protestors can dress in whatever manner of dress they wish. It's a protest against societal victim-blaming for sexual assault and rape. It's a protest against people thinking how a person dresses makes them "okay" to assault and rape, that they're "asking" for it.

I found out about this while still in school and it's been simmering. This struck a nerve because, like I've mentioned before, I watched The Accused when I was 6 to 8 years old and the attackers in Jodie Foster's character's public gang-rape was not taken to court until she had to personally pursue it with a female lawyer. Because of how she was dressed and acted beforehand. A gray tank, a short skirt, dancing with strangers, was drinking...

I just hate it. I realize that there are some smarter and less smart decisions people can make to decrease the odds of being assaulted, mugged, raped - walking alone in a dark alley instead of lighted streets that may be available, not being aware of your surroundings - but ultimately it is not the victims' decision that makes assault or rape happen.

GOD DAMN IT, IT IS THE MOLESTERS, THE ASSAULTERS, THE RAPISTS WHO DECIDE TO MOLEST, ASSAULT AND RAPE OTHERS. The people are attacked and violated do not ask for it.

(I say "some" because I think most assaulted children believe their victimizers when they're told they have choice, it's the way things are, etc. They sometimes aren't in a position to be able to avoid such circumstances and situations.)

My concern and feelings about this has heightened since going to college. I suppose that makes sense, because my four high schools never really put up posters about assault or rape. Also, in college I had much more opportunity to go to parties. In high school my parents never let me go to any parties that weren't school-sanctioned or held at parents' residences. At college I had the option to go to college parties, even if I didn't go to many. The few times I went alone or with another girl and not my boyfriend (at the time) I always got hit on by other guys or they got handsy. *makes a disgusted face*

It in my final year that I realized the posters around campus were all about how to AVOID BEING A RAPE VICTIM. It was fulll of tips like "Don't leave your cup or drink alone" or "Don't accept a drink that wasn't opened by you" or "Have others with you to make sure nothing happens." There was NOTHING about how to avoid being A RAPIST OR A MOLESTER OR ASSAULTER. Okay, maybe the phrase "Don't rape" won't work well because it seems a lot of rapists don't think what they did was wrong, or it happened in alcohol-induced situations where there are conflicting feelings and stories about what was consensual and what wasn't and things get forgotten. But there has to be something...just something, posters or forums or something about RESPECTING OTHER PEOPLE AS HUMANS WHO HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR BODIES AND WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH IT.

I know several friends have been assaulted/raped on-campus, and I've heard of some of the things their assaulters/rapists have said about them/the situation. Before college, too, I didn't realize how much alcohol can affect the kind of interactions people have with each other. I remember one night where alcohol made things fearful for me.

I'm frustrated with some views I grew up with that made victim-blaming or victim-asking seem explicit or implicit. Don't wear shorts, don't wear sleeveless tops, don't wear shape-showing clothes, don't smile to males strangers, don't be friendly with male strangers, don't wear non full-length skirts, etc, you'll just make yourself seem more available to men and men can't control themselves. That's why we women have to protect ourselves and them from their horn dog tendencies by giving them less temptation. Yadda yadda yoo.

I find that so insulting. To males, females, non-female victims, other genders, everybody.

I'm still angry at myself for not being able to volunteer at SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery Program) back in my college town because I didn't have a license or car so I could drive to the hospital/any place I was needed to help someone advocate for themselves.

Slutwalk has spread around the world. Chicago is having theirs June 4th and I fully intend to go. Again, they don't say you have to dress like a "skank" or a "ho" or a "slut" in order to attend. I doubt I'd wear something much revealing, though I know some people think a tank top paired with jeans or shorts is revealing already. Since it's a lot of walking, sneakers! And maybe my hoodie if the weather will still be chilly then. I wrote a note about it on Facebook and tagged some people when in the library earlier this week. A lot of people can't/won't come because they're too far away from Chicago, busy, or not very interested, but I hope others will participated in the Slutwalks in their area, if there are any. I wish I could go to several others with some friends of mine around this country or world, such as Slutwalk Portland or Slutwalk Spokane. Over the past few weeks, talking about this on the phone with Matt, I've gotten so frustrated and verge of tears or teared up. I know there are other areas of society that some humans don't see other humans as humans - racism, homophobia, sexism, sexual trafficking, emotional manipulation and abuse, a whole lot of places. This is one place I feel passionate about.
hani_backup: (Sandface anger)
Something I read today (not directed to me but online) I appreciated:

"Or rather, learn to live with the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day."

There are people who I'd like to eviscerate, or groups of people (child molesters, people who instigate incestuous rape, rapists for three) but I know I can't touch them.

Criminal Minds was on earlier today. I like criminal/police drama shows that are realistic or confident in themselves that the story writers actually have the villain/suspect/person responsible not be found or if they are known, there still isn't enough evidence to bring them in or they squirm through. Because that happens in real life. And more frequently, people who do illegal things don't get noticed by the police and people who do immorally bad things that aren't illegal get away scot free.

Sometimes I say things like "I hope Karma gets them" but other times I'm not sure if I even believe in Karma. I don't know what tradition it came from, the more technical issues regarding it, its history and evolution if there is one... I'd like to think that people who do bad things get punished in their lives somehow, but I don't know if I believe it with every fiber and not just when I'm really angry and disgusted by something I learned someone did or when I think about the aforementioned groups of people. I fully believe in natural ecology and how we're straining/depleting the Earth's natural resources so the ecological balance has definitely shifted. But when it comes to human societal "ecology" and "balance" I'm not at that level of deep-bone belief. I do believe in some form of six-degrees-of-separation so maybe the butterfly effect can occur but retribution or punishment to occur as a kind of cosmic balance instead of coincidences or people's choices affecting others kind of randomly, eh, don't know.

Maybe it'd be better to learn to live with "the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day" without expecting them to get punished in some cosmic/supernatural/non-human way if people don't directly take action against them.

Profile

hani_backup: (Default)
hani_backup

September 2012

S M T W T F S
      1
234 56 7 8
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 05:38 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios