hani_backup: (Nala Simba drinking)


I don't understand where the poster is coming from. Like did the person who made her mad say he/she has Asperger's but the poster doesn't believe him/her and thinks that person is just making an excuse? That said, after the Readercon debacle, it's a change from thinking when someone does something socially unacceptable to jump on the "maybe he/she has Asperger's" thinking.



I've never been a sister wife, or a wife, obviously, but I've grown up among friends and relatives whose father had multiple wives. I've never seen it as a happy thing. That said, all of the husbands were deceitful and having an affair on the first wife before dropping the bomb and either revealing to the first wife that they want to marry this other woman and have her be his second wife or that they already married and hey, here's my second wife, first wife! So I view this postcard with a great sense of sadness... For some reason I'm completely okay with polygamous/open marriages or relationships. I suppose because from what I've seen and heard, those are usually agreed upon by both/all parties and open from the get-go or have to be for everybody's safety whereas the religious polygamy I've heard of growing up just seems full of lies and manipulations.

Other PostSecrets )



Matt doesn't care. :-)

All taken from today's PostSecrets.
hani_backup: (Mulan-sword)
Christmas
I spent the 23rd-30th of December with my sister out of state. Christmas )

Cancer
The evening of Christmas Day my mom called me, asking to see how our trip went. Christmas isn't significant to her so having bad news on that day isn't as shocking. The call was normal and everything was like "How was your trip? The flight?"

Then my mom told me about her mother. Apparently my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer all the way back in June or July. And I didn't find out until December!!! That's half a year! Grandma )

Christian church wedding
In December 2010 I received an invitation to a wedding for one of my host sisters. (My college pairs each international student with a host family. It's up to each person and family how close they remain during the four years.) My host family consists of the parents, two older daughters and four younger sons. My host family is highly involved in their church and held the ceremony and reception in their church. They were very kind and made room for Matt during the reception. It was my first experience going to a Christian wedding!

Wedding )

Yeah, three C's right there... If I remember I'll post up some pictures!

I'm watching Robyn performing on SNL Season 37, Episode 9. (Katy Perry hosted.) I saw Robyn live summer 2010. :D
hani_backup: (Books first)
[Error: unknown template qotd]In not particular order of importance or priority but just done chronologically for simplicity's sake,

1) The Giver by Lois Lowry. I had moved in the middle of 4th grade to another school, another country and my home room teacher read to us every week. Two other books she read was Hatchet by Gary Paulsen which I didn't particularly enjoy and So Far From the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins  which I also adored. The Giver stuck in my mind because it was the first dystopian book I knew of and the writing was so simple but it raised all these questions about ways of living, conformity, pain, love, humanity, whether or not breaking the rules for the "greater good" (or so) was worth it, interacting with other people, independence. Every time a teacher hands out a survey asking for our favorite book, I write down The Giver, even in college. I do think almost everybody would find something in there that resonates with them, even if they are totally for conformity or live in a strict culture/community. I wasn't a big fan of the two sequels, but they did complete the story.

2) The first six books of Piers Anthony's eight-book Incarnations of Immortality series. In this series there are various offices of life and normal people are invited to take the office. On a Pale Horse is about Death, Bearing an Hourglass Time, With a Tangled Skein the three Aspects of Fate, Wielding a Red Sword about War, Being a Green Mother about Mother Nature, and For the Love of Evil about the office of Satan (book 7 about the office of God). The stories are intertwined, all the main characters affect or touch upon the world and work of the other Aspects by love or family. It's not confusing, though, if read in a series. It's set in a world where magic and science co-exist.

The reason I loved the first five books was because it really opened my mind to possible society and interactions between people. But grown-up interactions, which The Giver doesn't cover. While at the time - I was 13-15 years old - I wasn't experienced with relationships and physical intimacy, it gave me something to think. Also, thinking of Death, Nature, Fate, Time, War and Satan as mutable offices was fascinating, since I was raised in an organized religion household. I suppose my parents wouldn't be happy knowing that, yes, books were a factor in my growing doubts about the religion they raised me.

3) Mmmmm... I would have to say the series The Mage Storms by Mercedes Lackey. They definitely weren't the first books by Lackey I read but they reinforced the idea that competing, conflicting and multiple religions can co-exist on one world/one plane of reality without too much bloodshed. Also that old feuding nations can work together. Storm Warning, Storm Rising and Storm Breaking center on very powerful magical storms disrupting and changing magic and the physical world, as a consequence of magical devices used centuries ago. Ambassadors and envoys from different nations and rivals with different religious beliefs come together to face the storms and try to find a way to divert them or protect settlements. There's also the factor of an army in Hardorn, the neighboring country to Valdemar (with their Companions) and possibly threatening Valdemar. Also, old enemies rear their heads up.

I'm not very good at describing the plot.... At that time I believed in tolerance for religion but it was hard to feel it because of my family so it was nice to see it played out in series and in a way that made freaking sense. I still don't believe in a religion but I hope there aren't multiple supernatural beings who truly believe we should kill others for their beliefs and non-belief in them...

Well, duh

Jul. 31st, 2011 07:40 pm
hani_backup: ("hushedwee")
there is such a thing as an "Christian extremist" or a "Christian terrorist" if you want to use his religious beliefs as the one defining mark. Extremists or terrorists are possible in almost every single demographic possible! (I'm excluding infants.)

JEEZ.

"Christian terrorist? Norway case strikes debate"
hani_backup: (Excuse me?)
*could be triggering*

This was a comment Constable Michael Sanguinetti made during a York University safety forum at Osgoode in Canada way back in January. He has since apologized for the comment. But what he said... It's stupid and insluting and, obviously, victim-blaming.

The comment triggered Toronto's SlutWalk to emerge. While sparked off by one police officer's insensitivie, moronic, stupid, insulting comment, victim-blaming has a much, much longer history.

It's frustrating. It's annoying. It's not a march where women (or men) are all suppose to dress provocatively in low-cut tops and hot pants. Protestors can dress in whatever manner of dress they wish. It's a protest against societal victim-blaming for sexual assault and rape. It's a protest against people thinking how a person dresses makes them "okay" to assault and rape, that they're "asking" for it.

I found out about this while still in school and it's been simmering. This struck a nerve because, like I've mentioned before, I watched The Accused when I was 6 to 8 years old and the attackers in Jodie Foster's character's public gang-rape was not taken to court until she had to personally pursue it with a female lawyer. Because of how she was dressed and acted beforehand. A gray tank, a short skirt, dancing with strangers, was drinking...

I just hate it. I realize that there are some smarter and less smart decisions people can make to decrease the odds of being assaulted, mugged, raped - walking alone in a dark alley instead of lighted streets that may be available, not being aware of your surroundings - but ultimately it is not the victims' decision that makes assault or rape happen.

GOD DAMN IT, IT IS THE MOLESTERS, THE ASSAULTERS, THE RAPISTS WHO DECIDE TO MOLEST, ASSAULT AND RAPE OTHERS. The people are attacked and violated do not ask for it.

(I say "some" because I think most assaulted children believe their victimizers when they're told they have choice, it's the way things are, etc. They sometimes aren't in a position to be able to avoid such circumstances and situations.)

My concern and feelings about this has heightened since going to college. I suppose that makes sense, because my four high schools never really put up posters about assault or rape. Also, in college I had much more opportunity to go to parties. In high school my parents never let me go to any parties that weren't school-sanctioned or held at parents' residences. At college I had the option to go to college parties, even if I didn't go to many. The few times I went alone or with another girl and not my boyfriend (at the time) I always got hit on by other guys or they got handsy. *makes a disgusted face*

It in my final year that I realized the posters around campus were all about how to AVOID BEING A RAPE VICTIM. It was fulll of tips like "Don't leave your cup or drink alone" or "Don't accept a drink that wasn't opened by you" or "Have others with you to make sure nothing happens." There was NOTHING about how to avoid being A RAPIST OR A MOLESTER OR ASSAULTER. Okay, maybe the phrase "Don't rape" won't work well because it seems a lot of rapists don't think what they did was wrong, or it happened in alcohol-induced situations where there are conflicting feelings and stories about what was consensual and what wasn't and things get forgotten. But there has to be something...just something, posters or forums or something about RESPECTING OTHER PEOPLE AS HUMANS WHO HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR BODIES AND WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH IT.

I know several friends have been assaulted/raped on-campus, and I've heard of some of the things their assaulters/rapists have said about them/the situation. Before college, too, I didn't realize how much alcohol can affect the kind of interactions people have with each other. I remember one night where alcohol made things fearful for me.

I'm frustrated with some views I grew up with that made victim-blaming or victim-asking seem explicit or implicit. Don't wear shorts, don't wear sleeveless tops, don't wear shape-showing clothes, don't smile to males strangers, don't be friendly with male strangers, don't wear non full-length skirts, etc, you'll just make yourself seem more available to men and men can't control themselves. That's why we women have to protect ourselves and them from their horn dog tendencies by giving them less temptation. Yadda yadda yoo.

I find that so insulting. To males, females, non-female victims, other genders, everybody.

I'm still angry at myself for not being able to volunteer at SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery Program) back in my college town because I didn't have a license or car so I could drive to the hospital/any place I was needed to help someone advocate for themselves.

Slutwalk has spread around the world. Chicago is having theirs June 4th and I fully intend to go. Again, they don't say you have to dress like a "skank" or a "ho" or a "slut" in order to attend. I doubt I'd wear something much revealing, though I know some people think a tank top paired with jeans or shorts is revealing already. Since it's a lot of walking, sneakers! And maybe my hoodie if the weather will still be chilly then. I wrote a note about it on Facebook and tagged some people when in the library earlier this week. A lot of people can't/won't come because they're too far away from Chicago, busy, or not very interested, but I hope others will participated in the Slutwalks in their area, if there are any. I wish I could go to several others with some friends of mine around this country or world, such as Slutwalk Portland or Slutwalk Spokane. Over the past few weeks, talking about this on the phone with Matt, I've gotten so frustrated and verge of tears or teared up. I know there are other areas of society that some humans don't see other humans as humans - racism, homophobia, sexism, sexual trafficking, emotional manipulation and abuse, a whole lot of places. This is one place I feel passionate about.
hani_backup: (Sandface anger)
Something I read today (not directed to me but online) I appreciated:

"Or rather, learn to live with the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day."

There are people who I'd like to eviscerate, or groups of people (child molesters, people who instigate incestuous rape, rapists for three) but I know I can't touch them.

Criminal Minds was on earlier today. I like criminal/police drama shows that are realistic or confident in themselves that the story writers actually have the villain/suspect/person responsible not be found or if they are known, there still isn't enough evidence to bring them in or they squirm through. Because that happens in real life. And more frequently, people who do illegal things don't get noticed by the police and people who do immorally bad things that aren't illegal get away scot free.

Sometimes I say things like "I hope Karma gets them" but other times I'm not sure if I even believe in Karma. I don't know what tradition it came from, the more technical issues regarding it, its history and evolution if there is one... I'd like to think that people who do bad things get punished in their lives somehow, but I don't know if I believe it with every fiber and not just when I'm really angry and disgusted by something I learned someone did or when I think about the aforementioned groups of people. I fully believe in natural ecology and how we're straining/depleting the Earth's natural resources so the ecological balance has definitely shifted. But when it comes to human societal "ecology" and "balance" I'm not at that level of deep-bone belief. I do believe in some form of six-degrees-of-separation so maybe the butterfly effect can occur but retribution or punishment to occur as a kind of cosmic balance instead of coincidences or people's choices affecting others kind of randomly, eh, don't know.

Maybe it'd be better to learn to live with "the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day" without expecting them to get punished in some cosmic/supernatural/non-human way if people don't directly take action against them.
hani_backup: (Jasmine - Ph34r Me)
Bless me iPhone for I have sinned
Catholic Church sanctions phone app to woo back lapsed followers


This app does not replace going to a priest for absolution. It's also approved by a Bishop Kevin Rhoades of the Diocese of Fort Wayne in Indiana, USA. Apparently the Roman Catholic Pope Benedict XVI's World Communications Address on Jan. 24 "emphasized the importance of a Christian presence in the digital world" and the people who designed this app really took that to heart.

If it doesn't replace going to confess, but "help[s] Catholics through the act" -- how exactly does that work? Does it ask you questions like how guilt you are? Does it somehow "prep" you to face a real person? I really wish I had a friend with an iPhone so I coud split the cost of the app ($1.99) just to see what the app is like. But then again, I don't know if I want to give money to the people who made this app, even if it's just for jokes and curiosity...

Article )
hani_backup: (Idiot)
I read this article and my mouth dropped.

Apparently "International Burn a Koran Day" is September 11th.
hani_backup: (pi pie)
[Error: unknown template qotd]
This was the topic of my first speech for Introduction to Public Speaking class! I started it during the spring 2009 semester, before I dropped out.

It's very simple. I know. The professor commented that my first draft was not explicit enough, nor did it "show" my personality/let the audience know about me through my superpower choice so... I made it very blunt. I got 49/50 for the speech, too! Kyle and Matt helped me rewrite it and listen to me the night before. :D :D Good memories of that night. It's really awesome when your best friend and boyfriend/significant other are friends. :D

I do tell people when I like them, but only when I'm confident they like me, too. Actually...well, that part of the speech was very simplistic. Ever since that 8th grade situation, I've been lucky enough to have the people I was interested in reciprocate it. (Of course, after we got together was another story. The reasons for break-ups were multitudes. I remember my first boyfriend pretending to like my best friend so I would give up on him and realize he didn't want me back. >_>) So when I was relatively sure they liked me, too, and weren't just touchy-feely friends, I've told quite a few of them I liked them/wanted to date/be steady. With Matt, it was pretty obvious, and he told me. :-D That night was Study Night #2 for Biometrics for us and the final was the next day. It was hilarious how similar our answers/marks were for past exams so we couldn't really fill out the blanks/unknown stuff for a few things! *laughs* But yeah...that night he was very forthright and very considerate.

Introductory Speech – My Chosen Superpower

Bonjour. Ni hao. Assalamualaikum. Privet. Namaste. Konnichi wa. Hello.

These are but a few ways of greeting someone. It’s language, communication, connection. To instantly know every verbal language on Earth. All dialects included. To understand all body language. This is what I want. This is my superpower. I’m terrible at communicating. What’s the point of a superpower if it can’t give me something I lack?

I’ve lived in Malaysia, the United States, Indonesia, Vietnam and Romania. Whenever someone asks “How many languages do you know?” I must reply with “Only English fluently.” I knew a few Romanian and Vietnamese phrases but nothing beyond a tourist’s scope. I feel the deficiency of language strongly. I’ve felt this for more than a decade.

I knew Malay when I was younger. Learning English forced it from my mind when I was about five years old, though. I can understand conversational Malay but responding or writing in kind is beyond me. I’m embarrassed when I visit my grandparents and relatives who don’t know English. My parents have to translate for us. My relatives are strangers to me and I to them. This lack of language can be such a block. Even gesturing doesn’t get much across.

I’m very blunt and unperceptive. I love facts. I did much better during my sciences classes than my drama courses in high school. Subtlety escapes me. This was illustrated during a mortifying field trip. I thought the way a classmate behaved indicated he liked me but he actually didn’t. Unfortunately I told him on the first day of a week traveling together. This is one of many such experiences. This incident has made me reluctant to express my romantic feelings unless the other person expresses his first.

After I graduate from Beloit, I want to see more of the world, but on my own terms. Traveling for my own sake would be fabulous instead of following my dad’s diplomatic postings. I like knowing people with different lifestyles and backgrounds from my own. I’ve met many such people in Beloit. Better still to meet them in their native country and speak their native tongue.

I chose Beloit because a second language isn’t a graduation requirement. That’s how much language is a problem for me. I wish I could understand people who matter in my life or who might in the future. My superpower fulfills this wish.

hani_backup: (hmmmm)
That's a rather innovative move on his part.

Full text )
hani_backup: (hmmmm)
This is an article I found on Slate.com.

Full text )

Anyway, it talks about whether religion makes you nice and atheism makes you meaner/not as nice. I think it's a good point when they mention religious people believing they're not really "alone" and someone's watching their actions anywhere, anytime. And the part about the poster with eyes, too... I sometimes feel people only do things because it rewards them in some way, be it Heaven, reputation, love, their good-will feeling... But I find it more interesting when the article opens saying a Gallup poll found "a majority of Americans say that they would not vote for an otherwise qualified atheist as president, meaning a nonbeliever would have a harder time getting elected than a Muslim, a homosexual, or a Jew. Many would go further and agree with conservative commentator Laura Schlessinger that morality requires a belief in God—otherwise, all we have is our selfish desires." This was something I had asked a friend about during the election, if religion would make be a harder bias to break than sexuality in the presidential race. There are times I cringe when someone says "God bless America/England/etc." and I sometimes think those easy sayings "discriminate" a bit against atheists/agnostics. The American dollar bill states "In God We Trust," doesn't it?

The part about dualism made me pause. I would have expected atheists to not believe in souls, and be materialists (hard-core or not). Or embodied reasonists. Otherwise, I would think someone who believes in souls, but not a particular religion would think themselves as spiritual, or something like that.

I may be overly sensitive, but it hit a wrong nerve when the end of the articles states that people this study cites, define "religious" and "secular" not in terms of religious beliefs, but in religious attendance. I'm not a believer in any organized religion, and I have a big chip on my shoulder against Islam, but this kind of definition seems to make religion...shallower, if that's understandable. It's good the people find communities they can get support from and vice versa, but I feel religion should be about beliefs, and not only the sole sake of finding a community to belong to.

I put Zuckerman's book on reserve at the public library and maybe that'll fill up some holes.</td>
hani_backup: (stab stab)
The full text article )

This angers me. If psychological tests can somehow detect if someone is likely to abuse power, fine. But to evaluate his sexual orientation??? To look for areas of "grave immaturity." "Such areas of immaturity would include strong affective dependencies...deep-seated homosexual tendencies..." GAH!!!!

I am majorly annoyed.

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