hani_backup: (Rose Dance)
I haven't touched a laptop since I packed up Friday afternoon to visit Matt and his family... The past few days have been eventful, to say the least. I got on the train a bit late on Friday (for safety's sake it's preferred that I'm on the train by 5pm). And then the bus was a little late... But I got there on time. We watched the final disc of True Blood Season 3.  What a mind-trip. And so dark, dark, dark. Then some serious discussion time with Matt and a phone call with a friend. Serious times. I think I finally crawled into bed around 4am.

Because of the late night, Matt and I didn't get up early to prepare for our trip to the beach, Ohio Street Beach which opens at 11am. We only got up around 11am, something like that, to his brother telling us breakfast was ready. Which it wasn't, completely, but we helped set the table and all that while waiting for the gravy to be done. Yummy biscuits...

Then, afterwards, we readied our stuff. Matt did most of the work, finding the beach blanket, the beach chairs, the umbrella, the Frisbee, preparing the food, etc...

The last time we took a trip to the beach, on July 4th, it went horribly. We were suppose to meet one of my former high school friends and some of her friends up in Evanston, where we didn't know where the beach was or parking situation. We got there, we walked a lot of blocks with our heavy cooler, and my phone didn't get reception. >_< I used Matt's phone but I kept getting my friend's voice mail after several rings. OH MY GOODNESS, I felt so worried and guilty and tense, because it was my friend we were going to meet and the meet-up didn't happen successfully. Turns out she had forgotten her phone back where she's staying and so she had to use one of her friend's smartphones to look up my number in a Facebook message to her. I had called Matt's brother to ask him to pick us up, then I had to call him back and cancel it after he was already a few blocks away (couldn't go further because of roadblocks). My former schoolmates and her friends were way late, too.... It was awkward, tense. The fireworks were a nice show, but it still left a bitter taste in our mouths... It was a very tense situation.

Yesterday's beach adventure was suppose to make for the crap-show the 4th of July was. It did not.

We got on the highway fine, but then the GPS started getting all weird. Ohio Street Beach is given the address of 400 N. Lake Shore Dr n the Chicago Park District official website - though it's not on Google Maps by itself - and then it directed us to the middle of the highway. We're not familiar with the area and how to get underneath or beside the highway. Parking was horrendous. We went around and around for more than an hour? We finally got a parking spot in a parking building near Navy Pier, got a taxi and asked him to take us to Oak Street Beach, but then we noticed Ohio Street Beach was on the map so he dropped us off nearby. We had to walk a bit to find it.

That was around 5:45pm. The beach closes at 7pm. We left the house around...3:30pm? And it takes about 45 minutes to get there, by GPS and traffic. The remaining time was just...going around and around. We were very frustrated and tense... But we found it, in the end.

Ohio Street Beach is much smaller than North Ave Beach. It's at the end of Pfc Milton Olive Park. It's not on Google Maps, even, Ohio Street Beach. Anyhoo, because it's smaller there are no changing facilities on the beach. I had to walk all the way to Navy Pier to change - long line for the bathroom, with only 3 stalls - and then I had to walk back to the beach wearing only my bikini with nothing to cover me... It was a little embarrassing. (The dress I wore beforehand was too tight for me to wear over my bikini.) Stupid me didn't bring my phone with me so I couldn't let Matt know I was okay since I was gone for a while...

But...yeah...we set up the blanket, the chairs, got out the food and water... I got back to the beach at 6:15pm and we spent about half an hour in the water. That was nice... The lake really accentuated the height difference between Matt and I. He walked so far away from me before only his head showed above the water. A few times he dropped me in my height water but I was so clumsy I fell over anyway. :P And inhaled water.

Ill feeling, fridge broke down )

Done

May. 10th, 2011 08:48 pm
hani_backup: (dancing!)
As of noon today, CST in USA, I was done with all assignments, finals, papers, presentations, projects for my undergraduate career.

Senior grades are due at noon tomorrow.

Unfortunately seniors have to wait until the 20th or so to see our grades online, just like the underclassmen.

Unfortunate.

We graduate this coming Sunday, May 15th.
hani_backup: (Excuse me?)
"A man who treats his woman like a princess is proof that he has been born & raised in the arms of a queen."

So...a man who abuses "his" woman must automatically come from an abusive family? Abusive people can't come from good families? Good people can't come from broken families? 

And also, that stupid phrasing "his woman." I'm sorry, that's idiotic.

WTF, mate.

He is a former classmate from a few countries ago. We've lost touch since I moved. I don't remember him well so I guess I'll defriend him.
hani_backup: (hmmmm)
On Facebook a friend wrote (with grammatical mistakes included):

"The reason why parents do not allow their son to play dolls because they want to teach them that girls aren’t toys to play with."

I will admit that I have never heard this rationale/justification for not letting boys play with dolls. All of the ones I've heard have been related to gender-normative issues - "Girls play with dolls, boys play with G.I. Joe and aircrafts."

I don't think most boys will equate playing with dolls = playing with girls. I don't even know what kind of "play" this friend (a male) is talking about either. Emotionally? Physically?

I think it's kind of ridiculous to think that not playing with dolls will somehow let boys think girls aren't to be played with. I think actually teaching them to respect girls is better because it's active. I don't understand the kind of analogy people think works here. It's not like kids who play with stuffed cats and animals as a child will automatically play the same way with real life cats and animals.

Why would 4 people like this status and another say "waaahhh agreed!"? It seems, to me, a piss poor excuse for covering up cisgender-socially normative child raising behavior.
hani_backup: (Sandface anger)
Something I read today (not directed to me but online) I appreciated:

"Or rather, learn to live with the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day."

There are people who I'd like to eviscerate, or groups of people (child molesters, people who instigate incestuous rape, rapists for three) but I know I can't touch them.

Criminal Minds was on earlier today. I like criminal/police drama shows that are realistic or confident in themselves that the story writers actually have the villain/suspect/person responsible not be found or if they are known, there still isn't enough evidence to bring them in or they squirm through. Because that happens in real life. And more frequently, people who do illegal things don't get noticed by the police and people who do immorally bad things that aren't illegal get away scot free.

Sometimes I say things like "I hope Karma gets them" but other times I'm not sure if I even believe in Karma. I don't know what tradition it came from, the more technical issues regarding it, its history and evolution if there is one... I'd like to think that people who do bad things get punished in their lives somehow, but I don't know if I believe it with every fiber and not just when I'm really angry and disgusted by something I learned someone did or when I think about the aforementioned groups of people. I fully believe in natural ecology and how we're straining/depleting the Earth's natural resources so the ecological balance has definitely shifted. But when it comes to human societal "ecology" and "balance" I'm not at that level of deep-bone belief. I do believe in some form of six-degrees-of-separation so maybe the butterfly effect can occur but retribution or punishment to occur as a kind of cosmic balance instead of coincidences or people's choices affecting others kind of randomly, eh, don't know.

Maybe it'd be better to learn to live with "the shitty fact that shitty people get away with shitty things every shitty day" without expecting them to get punished in some cosmic/supernatural/non-human way if people don't directly take action against them.
hani_backup: (Pondering)
I went "whaa?" when I read this article. I can only link to the article since there are links in the article as well an embedded video. A man basically marries his videogame ("Love Plus") girlfriend. A digital girlfriend in the videogame, not someone you met during Guild Wars or WoW or something. Not even an avatar in a game like Second Life. A digital girlfriend with no human behind her, controlling her actions or moods or dialogue.

Question!

Mar. 13th, 2009 01:40 pm
hani_backup: (faerie queen)
I really hope a lot of people answer this. I'm curious what others would think. (And I apologize for gender bias/stereotyping and simplicity.)

Imagine there is a woman has been severely abused, mentally, emotionally, physically, in a marriage with someone who is a narcissistic alcoholic. A child came from this marriage that she loves with her life, and because of this child, she was willing to escape the marriage despite the fear of the new, unknown and threats. She endures going through the law to have the husband put in jail. Afterwards, on recovery and learning to be strong by herself, she makes a lot of friends and meets a man who is willing to be her partner, and there is mutual love and care between them.

Imagine this woman is suddenly, for some unforeseen reason, sent back in time to before she met her abusive husband. Do you think she should go through the abusive courtship and marriage in order to procreate this future child she loved/loves? In order to meet her new partner in that particular time frame, and her new friends?

I know this is bare-bones and you might ask how deeply she loved her child and her new partner and such, but this is more about self-love/self-worth and results of choices that may have happy ending... Is it worth going through this a second time (even if the first time was in her memory), the self-degradation, the pain, because she knows what it'll result in? Or is it not? Is it worth it, knowing that if it wasn't her, another woman would likely would be abused by him, and she may not have the strength to try to remove him from society through the law? Is it worth it, or is the memories of how to be a stronger and independent woman enough to forsake that life and hope she can build another happier one? Are other people's responsibilities and happiness enough to balance against your own and possibly overcome it? (And you would remember everything from the "first" life, too.)

It's confusing - I don't know how to phrase all the questions I have inside. I know I can do this better in an interactive conversation.

Argh.

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