hani_backup: (Nala Simba drinking)

I don't understand where the poster is coming from. Like did the person who made her mad say he/she has Asperger's but the poster doesn't believe him/her and thinks that person is just making an excuse? That said, after the Readercon debacle, it's a change from thinking when someone does something socially unacceptable to jump on the "maybe he/she has Asperger's" thinking.

I've never been a sister wife, or a wife, obviously, but I've grown up among friends and relatives whose father had multiple wives. I've never seen it as a happy thing. That said, all of the husbands were deceitful and having an affair on the first wife before dropping the bomb and either revealing to the first wife that they want to marry this other woman and have her be his second wife or that they already married and hey, here's my second wife, first wife! So I view this postcard with a great sense of sadness... For some reason I'm completely okay with polygamous/open marriages or relationships. I suppose because from what I've seen and heard, those are usually agreed upon by both/all parties and open from the get-go or have to be for everybody's safety whereas the religious polygamy I've heard of growing up just seems full of lies and manipulations.

Other PostSecrets )

Matt doesn't care. :-)

All taken from today's PostSecrets.
hani_backup: (Books first)
I'm writing this Wednesday afternoon while at one of my volunteering positions so I can type it up later. Thus far the phones have not been ringing.

Tuesday night I saw Tamora Pierce at Anderson's Bookshop in Naperville, IL. I was lucky enough to get off at 4pm. Matt drove me to the Metra stop so I could go downtown and catch another Metra from Chicago Union. I got a little lost walking from LaSalle St. Metra to Union Station in the dark and the rain. (My phone does not have a real-time updating GPS app/program.) The ticket line was long but I managed to catch the very full express BNSF to Naperville at 5:45pm. Of course I got lost again trying to find downtown Naperville. I walked a few blocks in the opposite direction before I figured it out. I got at Anderson's Bookshop at 6:50pm, about 10 minutes before the event's scheduled start. It was rather crowded. I was by myself so I got a free seat in the middle of a row of 5. Oh, sometimes there are advantages to being alone!

Tamora Pierce is so funny! I read both her personal and author LiveJournals. I guess the humor never translated that fully. (Patrick Rothfuss is an author whose humor translated well into writing. I was at his signing earlier this year, too.) We had a Q&A before the signing. Some rather hilarious answers. Soemone asked who her characters were based off, if anybody. Both males and females. She said she based Roger, Duke of Conte, off a high school boyfriend.


"I killed him twice."


She also said two characters did not end up as how she original intended. One example is Alanna who was unhappy at how her (Alanna's) future was disposed. Tamora danced around names of Alanna's romantic interests because she wanted to be spoiler-free. After her dancing-around answer she got asked by another person in the audience who she met and another person in the audience hadn't read The Lionness Quartet so Tamora told her to cover her ears. Tamora had intended Alanna to be with King Jon but being queen was a job, a diplomatic job, and Alanna highly lacked diplomacy. Tamora also talked about future works, both in the Tortall and Circle universes.

Someone also asked what made Tamora decide to write about sexuality. She said at previous readings several people came up to her and said when Kel tells Neal that in the Yamini Islands nobody cares who you sleep with (from The Protector of the Small series), it meant a lot to them. They, apparently, were crying. They felt like she, Tamora Pierce, was saying that being LGBT was okay. Tamora herself felt that two lines wasn't okay and that she needed to "step up." She had always known that Daja was a lesbian (from the Circle universe) and that Lark and Rosethorn were a couple - that flew by me completely when I read the Circle books, though I only read The Circle Opens series once. But in the small manuscript sizes of the earlier books every word counted. In The Will of the Empress she wanted to be open about Daja's sexuality but she didn't make it a big deal in the world just as it shouldn't be a big deal in our world. That exact question was percolating in my mind! I asked about parents' response. If anybody was completely fine with her strong female characters but aghast at the emergence of a lesbian character or a cross-dresser in the Beka books. (I am biased in that I automatically think anybody who approves of "strong female characters" would not be against non-heterosexual sexuality.) She said she didn't get any negative responses about that. Just a few regarding sex appearing in the Alanna series, that it appeared at all, and the violence in the Kel series. Tamora also mentioned getting kicked out of the room where one of her girls (she was a house mother) was pregnant and counting her contractions because Tamora was making her laugh and it threw off the count.

Rest of Q&A, hanging out with Kyle )
So a brief shower and hot soup, saline crackers and apple for lunch, then off to this volunteering position!
hani_backup: (Default)

This morning. I woke at 5:30am. Made chicken-flavored ramen with eggs and broccoli.

Edit: I misread this was "What was your last meal?" Not what would be my last meal if I knew when I was to die. :P

My last meal would be my mom's laksa and her sambal ikan bilis with rice, and the fruit mangosteen. (Assuming she was alive, of course.) If she wasn't..... A good hearty steak. With hot sauce. And some other Malaysian food.

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hani_backup: (Anne Stokes - Dragon)
The last time I posted on LiveJournal/InsaneJournal was August 7th, Sunday. Later, at around midnight after I broke fast and continued snacking and drinking water - ever since I was little I've thought of water as the elixir of life and when you're fasting/dehydrated it absolutely is - Matt and I found a scale in their house and I weighed myself. I was a little less than the absolute limit we set up a few years ago when I tried fasting, so I went "Oh, well! I should stop fasting!" Looking back I think I was a little too cavalier, and gave up too easily. Especially after I found an article about a high school American football player in Florida who continues to go to practices in full gear while fasting. It's good for him his coaches watch him for symptoms of heat stroke/heat exhaustion and the practices were moved to 7am in hopes it'd help the player avoid the heat. Though their games are still in the afternoon, I believe. I was talking about it to Matt and mentioned the football player was 265lbs after losing 10lbs after 9 or so days of fasting and Matt said "He must be a linebacker!" I have no idea what a linebacker is or any football positions but I guess they're the ones who attack the opposing players. I know more about European football than American football. So I went back to the apartment and was happy to be able to eat food and drink water whenever I wanted. And eat my ice cream. I celebrated by buying ice cream, yeah. :P I don't remember what I did the days I was back in the apartment, though I think I started feeling like I wanted to be alone... I did visit Matt the following Friday - he picked me up - and we watched two movies that evening with his family/some of them.

Source Code, Adjustment Bureau, relationships )

Museum visit, migraine, Paprika movie )

Then the next Sunday we had a brief driving lesson in a smallish high school parking lot. :( We were out at noon or something so that was understandable we couldn't find a more deserted area. I still didn't get on the road, and acceleration was scary... I think I went up to 8mph...

The work week was a little WTF and multiple breakdowns.

Saturday - there was free medical check up, dental (extraction, cleaning, filling) and vision (prescription, pressure check, dilation check, glaucoma, free frames - you get free complete glasses with prescription lenses if you got there early enough) offered by Remote Area Medical. Matt and I got there around 5:45am after waking up at 4am for shower (him) and breakfast and to drive there. Doors open at 5:30am. My number was 503. Apparently they started handing out numbers at 3:30am! I got into the building at 10am. I got into vision at 10:30am and was done around 1:15pm. I waited for dental but within being 20 people of getting in they started turning people away who had already gotten something else done. :-( SO CLOSE! I left around 5pm and got back to Matt's at 6pm. More than 12 hours of waiting - Matt had to leave around 9am because he had to help his brother move furniture - with about 4 hours of sleep. I still haven't slept long and well since Friday night. A lot of the people there were also students. I had both an optometry student and an optometrist inspect my eyes. My vision sucks.

Today I primed for the first time! And swung on a rope. And played Mario Galaxy. We had a full day of eating, too. Sausages, eggs, watermelon, musk melon, chicken cajun-cheese-mayo sandwich, more watermelon, musk, mango, chicken enchilada, lettuce, salsa, watermelon, musk, mango. YUMMY. Oh and there's corn leftovers. ♥

Thanks, too, to people I talked to amidst crises moments, who put aside time to talk to me/call. ♥
hani_backup: (Disney Forest)

Visited Planned Parenthood today to refill my prescription for birth control. Apparently pap smears are now recommended every two years if there are no abnormal results. I had no idea. Back home the speculum’s shoved up yearly, in August, before school begins. Though last year I had to come back in November because the sample they sent in August was contaminated because the packaging/container was expired. Thanks, clinic.

It wasn’t an unpleasant experience. It was awkward trying to fill out medical history for me and my family on the form. When the doctor came in she asked who in the family had the conditions/illnesses I checked off. >_< I only know a few things about my relatives - basically the deaths caused by cancer or if someone has/had diabetes. We don’t talk much. And mental illnesses - forget about that!

But beforehand the nurse showed me the doctor’s room (after waiting after turning in the multiple ‘new patient’ sheets) and took my weight and blood pressure. She didn’t take my temperature which I wasn’t used to. (It’s weird, back home they didn’t weigh me but took my temp every pap appt and here it seems reversed.)

I don’t know if it’s because they’re Planned Parenthood or just the protocol for a medical institute - they’re an office among many in a mall space - but we had to get buzzed in to enter. Maybe both.

Reading the abortion pamphlet in the doctor’s office while waiting was sobering. I think, if ever I was to get one, I would choose an abortion caused by pills than the procedure, if I had a choice. It seems the pill-one is only effective up to 7 weeks or so.

And the nearby ALDI does not have Maria/Marie biscuits. :(

hani_backup: (Kushiel (protect & service))
and poet Maureen Thornson founded National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) back in 2003.

30 poems in 30 days!

I'm quite hungry, I'm thinking of eating popcorn except then I can't type. If only I had a third arm just for feeding myself. *SIGH*
hani_backup: ("gone")
Thursday: Day 4 (1/3b) 5mg

Friday: Day 5 (2/3b) 5mg

What happened Thursday? I don't remember... No, I was able to go to class. I had three alarms set on my phone, with different snooze times. I was able to talk in the first class, in the small group and make conversation with someone on the way to our next class. But otherwise it takes so much energiz to talk, even during the thesis meeting, and it takes so much I feel like I'm in a stupor when I'm not forced to make a conversation.

Frida was ok. Managed to make both classes and the appt during the break. Still felt brain fuzzy during everything.

Tues and Thurs I have Psych Disorders. We finished substance disorders and started eating disorders tues, finished eating disorders and started cognitive disorders Thursday. It's interesting hearing some of the professors' stories or opinions/his tactics when he practiced as a clinical psychologist.

One thing he was pretty firm on, he termed it tough love. With both substance/alcohol abuse and eating disorders he said it's imperative to get them off the drugs or get a stable eating routine established before psychological therapy addressing the underlying issues can be addressed. He said he's experience a lot of alcohol addicted patients he's treated try to justify and do lie about their drinking routine. A ditty he quoted was:

Poor me,
Poor me,
Pour me a drink.
To illustrate how people can not take responsibility for changing their behavior and even if they acknowledge they may have a problem, they don't see their behavior as something that must change.

I can only remember that from my notes. I don't know if the fuzzy mind is medication caused. I don't have self-esteem dialogue going in my mind but I don't seem to card about anything right now, and it's easier to pretend online or force myself for less than an hour. But if the medication is responsible for pushing my appetite up a little, I'm glad. Commons had Meatball Monday with normal meatballs, bbq
meatballs, turkey, chicken, tofurkey... Other nights there were DELICIOUS meat dishes like lemon chicken or bbq chicken or cod.

Usually I consider dinner a social meal, to catch up with friends since we've no classes together. But if geom't have friends around, I don't feel like eating. Ramen in my room is fine. But today I was hungry enough I was willing to go eat by myself. It's weird cause back home during the summer or high school I preferred eating alone and hated being pressured to weekend lunches and dinners with my parents. Though that could've been cause my dad doesn't let reading at the table. :-P It'd be nice when I see my psychiatrist next week to have gained some weight, since I mentioned my goal to gain some weight.

Dry month, damn it. And I can feel the drowsiness creeping up.

I'm typing from my phone in the lounge room. Say Yes to the Dress... I'm hungry for Chinese food but it's expensive to order in solo.$15 minimum to deliver. :'(

Matt is supposed to visit this weekend but is unable to. Poor laddie. I'm wearing his shirt today, the sentimental sap I am. ♥

Cannot think straight.
hani_backup: (pi pie)
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Any of the junk foods in my room.  Fruit Roll Up, any kind of chocolate candy/bar, Rice Krispies, Chewy Bars, chips, Doritoes, sometimes popcorn though the time and effort needed to make it makes me more likely to dive towards something already ready.

If I was back home and my mom had coincidentally made laksa that same day, I'd be eating 2-3 bowls of it. Maybe more. If I was back home, I'd also probably eat whatever tropical fruit was in season (barring non-favorites).
hani_backup: (pi pie)
This disorder is "selective eating disorder," apparently. It's an interesting article. I wonder if it's a sensory overwhelming that's painful for other flavors that make them like bland and/or salty foods. I don't think that sentence made sense...

Oh, not being able to eat spicy foods... Obviously if I grew up not liking spicy foods I wouldn't like it/feel so attached to it and feel I would not sad and remorseful at the thought of not being able to eat spicy foods. Also, I adore eating fruits. Not all of them, like dragonfruit or kiwi or lychee, but if I had tropical Malaysian fruit around here, I'd be chomping chomping away. :D


Nov. 17th, 2010 03:12 pm
hani_backup: (Stress - wake up)
I have a personality psych paper (draft) due tomorrow on a case study we did ourselves.  No page minimum or length, just as much as we need.

I have a Science Fiction: Past and Present paper (final) due Friday.  It's 7-8 pages and I've only had some kind of pissant notes jotted around, despite meeting with my professor twice.  (I wish I had more to show her... I feel so bad.  I basically told her I hadn't started it yet.) 

This is my chosen topic for the 2nd paper:

paper topic... )

At least I got Tuesday's paper turned in, and Friday's other paper done with a partner (second draft) is done. 

I keep distracting myself by online stuff like YouTube and articles, emails, as well as trying to find jobs THAT APPLY TO MY MAJOR so I can use OPT... 

Must get down to it.  At least I have about 2 pages down for Personality Psych, single spaced. 

Feels way better then I double space it afterwards and bam! Longer!

Man, I have a craving for chicken now...
hani_backup: (Xena - white dress)
I had two exams Friday. I got one of them back today.

I went from a 76 on my second exam to a 94 on the third (or 95 if she agrees with people's reaction to an answer)! At mid-terms I had a class score of 77. >_< That's a C/C+. We have one more essay, a draft of a group paper, the final group paper, a group presentation, and small class activities/labs.

Unfortunately those almost additional 20 points came from studying that also encroached on studying for my other Friday exam (anthro). We still haven't gotten that one back; I hope we get it back Wednesday! It'd be ironic if I got a C for that exam because I got an A for the first anthro exam. Flipping inverse, yay.

I also met with my advisor after class ended. We're decided on some express classes and alternates! (The registration system is completely different from now on. It's all online and the advisor has to do it.)

Following is a long list/LJ-cut of the wanted classes and my alternates. There's also psychotherapy, but I think having psychological disorders and psychotherapy back to back is a somewhat ridiculous idea. I think psychological disorders would help me in the long run whereas psychotherapy would help me if I decided to follow a clinical psychology master's degree afterwards.

Cut for courses and descriptions )

I got back from a rather yummy dinner. Orange chicken and broccoli, rice, mandarin oranges and half a slice of rich decadent chocolate cake. Yay for not overdoing it. Because my two close female friends are out of the state, I ate alone. I was somewhat on automatic during my dinner, but I appreciate eating some filling and nutritious food after a week of sporadic and light eating. I should gain back weight I lost due to the stress. I really hope so. Matt also lost some weight because he was so busy. He worked hard on his costume for the past week or so and lots of late hours on it, besides his two jobs. Sometimes it's amazing how noticeable differences seem after not seeing each other for a while. But, man, I do dislike eating alone, though. For me, meals are a social time to catch up on the day and chit chat with friends. I can eat ramen alone in my room with a book or while watching a DVD. Alone I wouldn't eat much nutritious food though I'd snack a lot if I could. If there's a lot of food around in my room I could eat a lot of it, but if I have to make it myself, I can't feed myself healthily or that well... :'( Like the summer with my failures at cooking. YAY FOR PASTA AND SPAGHETTI SAUCE IN A JAR!

I have 13 minutes until a TA session I need to attend for my class I have an exam for tomorrow. Then I have my own TA hours for Intro to Psych. Then more studying...


Aug. 16th, 2010 01:01 am
hani_backup: (Kushiel Icon)
This was so long ago, I don't think I can remember all the sets and reps properly

August 8, 2010, Sunday
Ran/walked/jogged outside (where I broke out into hikes...) for about 30 minutes, 1.4 miles I think?

Mess of a log )
hani_backup: (Sinfest - CRUSH HIM)
I woke up at 10:30am or so, and decided to go to the gym early. I didn't want to run into the Upward Bound group again because I got self-conscious last time around them. It's a little embarrassing realizing females far younger than me can lift weights far, far heavier than me. I realize it's body build and mass, and how long they've been doing weights/training exercises/exercising in general that matter more than age, but I still find it embarrassing... So far those 2 peanut butter sandwiches has held me through the workout. I'm nearly done with the peanut butter. Need to buy more. Yay, Jif extra crunchy peanut butter! Smooth is just too...smooth for me... Not zest, no feeling that you're eating something awesome and nutty when you're eating smooth. At least with peanut butter I like texture.

Ended up working out for about 1hr15mins. Got close to my personal best on the mile run. :D Yay. Though I bet if I had to run two miles, my average pace would be up in the 11mins/mile.  I'm stinking up the college library right now because I'm meeting someone at 1:30pm. I can't squeeze the trips to and from the apt/college library + shower in under 30 minutes. (I will get peeved if she's radically late, though.)

My stomach's growling, not surprising. I can't wait to cook something/eat something. Ramen with eggs and veggies? Pasta with chicken and tomato and basil sauce (assuming the sauce hasn't gone bad)? I still have to finish a public library book - The Verbally Abusive Relationship which was due yesterday. I had a hard time focusing on it yesterday because I can't read/work well under time pressure. Drrr. I would've liked to jot down some of the notes from the book, but I'll have to speed-read it, write a brief cursory review then return it. Damn me for my non-focus beforehand and underestimating how long it'll take me to read books/watch DVD's.

Log )

My mind is going all over the place. I'm really, really hungry... I hope she arrives soon...
hani_backup: (Scythe Wolf)
Yesterday I woke up, took my antibiotics, talked to Bridgett briefly on MSN, ate my cereal, then walked to campus to watch the Japan-Denmark game. YES, Japan kicked butt so much. They're going to the next round! I then took the bus to the public library because it was so damn hot, and texted Mandy to ask if she would like to go to the gym later.

Unfortunately I missed the bus at 5:14pm so I had to walk back to campus with my laptop, powercord and assorted other things in my backpack. In the sweltering 28Celsius still heat. Blargh. I was already pretty tired when I met Mandy, but it is true that it's harder to beg off working out when you've got a buddy with you. She went to the pool/sauna whereas I tromped to the gym.

Exercise, yay! )

By the time I got home, I was really hungry. I figured "Why not try making steak for the first time? I love steak. Steak is yummy. Steak is meat. Steak is full of protein and by God, I need yummy, protein-filled meat right now." I looked up instructions on using the broiler/making steak, and I called Matt for good measure.

I fail at steak cooking )

It is disturbing feeling queasy yet still hungry. :S I managed to go to sleep around 4am, and woke up today around 11am. I'm feeling a bit better, though being in air-conditioned buildings and then walking out in the heat is disturbing me up. Grrr. I forgot my hoodie, too.


hani_backup: (Default)

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