Aug. 24th, 2012

hani_backup: (Just Dance!!)
I now have Internet on my laptop! I've had it for three days.

Silly as it may sound , I didn't think of Googling the answer to "How to find a password for the router" because I assumed that if it wasn't found in the Network and Sharing Center on my parents' computer and my parents' didn't know, it was lost forever and we needed a tech dude from the Internet service company to find it somehow. Ironically Matt found the answer in Yahoo! Answers.

Finding the passcode my parents told me didn't exist )

Now that I've all my bookmarks and all back, it's kind of addictive. I obviously can't use Hulu or Netflix here but I can still download the e-books and audio books from CPL and WPLC. *knocks on wood* And that's what I did Wednesday. It's nice to have both Matt's and my CPL cards to download books from. :P CPL only allows 6 downloads and 3 holds per card from their Downloadable Media Library. WPLC is a little cooler - 10 downloads and 10 holds.

I tried Eoin Colfer's Airman but lost interest pretty quickly. I love his Artemis Fowl series and The Wish List but this one just felt too...prosaic, I guess. There's no fantasy and I'm not interested in historical fiction, usually. Also, planes and flying mechanisms don't much interest me. Guess that's another reason some steampunk books completely lose me...

Then I reread Carolyn Mackler's The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things which I definitely recommend. It's very honest. I bought my own copy years ago while in high school. It was originally published in 2003 and yep, after 9 years, I still find it a compelling book. Of course it's not perfect but I found it very relatable.

But with two days of these books, I think I'm able to stop getting sucked into the Internet. Again, there's no websites I can stream TV shows from (that I know of) and with the time difference, I really don't have anybody to chat online with GMail or anything now. It's study time!

Here's some good GRE studying news:
I'm done with the Arithmetic section in the GRE Quantitative book! I'm going to start the Algebra Section! I love algebra! ♥
hani_backup: (Blood siren)
It's basically finding your soulmate when you see them. It doesn't care for age differences. A 17 year can imprint with a 4 year old. The 17 year old just has to wait until the 4 year old grows up.

Or, in Jacob's case, a 17/18 year old can imprint on a newborn baby.

Let someone be the center of the universe, let your self float away! )
How is losing your sense of self admirable? How can making your life revolve around one being someone you yearn for, in a partner?

No doubt Jacob will help raise Renesmee, but I suppose my mind is having a very, very hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that he'll have to go from a fatherly/brotherly type of love and support to a, well, romantic type of love and support. Because, ultimately, imprinting is suppose to procure werewolves/offspring/love sex joy joy. I don't understand this transition. I know a few friends who have had friends who've waited until someone is legal before anything physically starts (though emails/texts/chats have not really been non-sexual). That's when the person's still a teenager. This, and other examples, are when the other person is a baby, or a toddler. I just...I get squicked out, to use a phrase from the Internet.

It also bothers me that finding your soulmate, in this universe, means losing your sense of self. It means having the other person become the center of the universe, the gravity of the earth. That's suppose unhealthy and kind of creepy.

Growing up, I've read romance novels or young adult/teen books about romance. It really skewed my expectations for relationships, for males. It joined other factors like observing my parents or sisters or other forms of (mostly Western) media. This before my depression kicked in.

Reading these books and being exposed to the media and my parents hammered home the points:
Bad love/relationship expectations )

Holy fuck, I just thought of the book the fifth point refers to for the first time today in a long fucking time. I can't believe, as a kid, I gobbled up all the romance novels set in the 1500 or 1600's or whatever in Europe/London, you know, with Ton and everything. It was rape. I can't believe I read that book and was completely okay with it whereas I saw Jodie Foster in The Accused and that really stuck with me so much and besides my parents forbidding me to wear short skirts after I got my period (due to religious beliefs), that movie also scared off short skirts.

Was it because one was written and the other was visual? Was it because in one, it was his wife and I was expected to believe the male to have sexual power and knowledge and use it and in the other it was clearly strangers raping Jodie Foster's character? Oh, my God, did I condone what was essentially a rape in one book, by not reacting badly to it?

Even if the setting and time period in the book condones rape or males sexually assaulting their fiancee or wives, I wasn't raised in that period. That book was heavy on victim-blaming and the victim/female taking all the blame for all the fights in the relationship upon her shoulders. I shouldn't have been "okay, cool" and just gone on to the next book.

Oh, God. I feel so bad for reading that book and thinking it was completely okay. Oh, my God, I liked a book that endorses rape-culture.
hani_backup: (Solitutde)
Summer 2007 when my parents were still living in Romania, I visited them. We went on a road trip through some parts of Central/Eastern Europe. I had thought we only visited Krakov, Poland but apparently we also stopped in Warsaw! Wow, my memory is horrible! We also stopped in Czech Republic, Hungary and passed through Slovakia. I didn't write a lot about the history, though.

I visited Old Town Warsaw last night with a high school friend (last time we saw each other was summer 2005). No wonder it seemed familiar! We ate Polish dumplings and he saw me the Polish Mint with its fences of bullet holes. It was pretty neat.

Here's the previousy entry. (Warning: near the end it mentions my then-boyfriend.)

Letter!

Aug. 24th, 2012 10:04 pm
hani_backup: (hadn't found)
Letter! I haz letter!

from Matthew!!!

It took four days to get here!

FOUR FLIPPING DAYS when it sometimes seems within US mail takes that long.

FOUR DAYS FROM Chicago to Warsaw!

Just yesterday on Gmail chat we were talking about DHL and mail. (Did you know DHL ceased operations in the US a few years ago but it's strong elsewhere and they deliver to Iran, Cuba and North Korea? North Korea! And it's part of Deutsche Post?)

I cried while reading the letter. I smiled. I laughed a little.

A letter and a drawing in Matt's handwriting...

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